


A Body Made of Crows

by polychromatic



Category: Naruto
Genre: (I promise), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But I am NOT tagging it as fluff because that would be super misleading, Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence AU, Gen, Getting Sasuke Back, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, I know it is SO SAD right now, It'll be worth it I swear, Itachi Lives, Itachi POV, Karin POV, Minor Character Death, Most of them probably won't be canon lmao, Multiple Character POVs, Naruto POV, POV Minor Character, Sai POV, Sakura POV, Sasuke POV, Sasuke is super angsty too lmao, Sharingan, There might be some background relationships later but I'm still deciding what those are, There's gonna be just a little bit of fluff every now and then, Tsunade POV, also like, bear with me guys, but what else is new
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2019-10-11 15:13:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17449391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polychromatic/pseuds/polychromatic
Summary: In which Itachi doesn't die.-There’s blood on his hands, coughed up from a body wracked by disease, cherry wine red and wet against the skin. Each step is a shamble, whole body shaking and nearly collapsing as he advances, but he has to do this, he has to, really, even if just for his own sake. Because this isn’t about the eyes, this was never about the eyes, if he didn’t burn himself through entirely during the battle, the illness is his own personal Amaterasu, black and deadly and consuming all that’s left, unable to be stopped.He stops in front of his brother, trembling and wide-eyed, who tries to pull back against gray concrete as two fingers poke his forehead, right between the eyebrows. Just like when they were younger. Some of the blood on them smears against moonlight pale skin but this is no time to worry about. That, that sort of thing. He wishes he could apologize or say something, this secret is a burden and a curse and he promised, he did, that he would always be there, even if just as an obstacle to overcome.Well. He can apologize, actually. He used to always do that, for not having enough time. And. There’s none of that left, anymore.“I’m sorry, Sasuke. This is it.”





	1. The Ballad of Itachi

**Author's Note:**

> hey everyone! so this is, uh. my first time writing and digitally publishing fanfic. itachi's death set off a huge catalyst chain of events in canon, and, besides him being my favorite character, i thought it might be interesting to explore a world where he didn't die, and everything that (i think) would entail. i'm not so sure if i have a regular update schedule planned out yet but i'll definitely be active writing this, so i hope you enjoy! comment if you have any questions or just want to say something!! hope i can hear from you guys!! also i don't have a beta reader/editor so if anyone is interested let me know.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Itachi doesn't die.  
> -  
> There’s blood on his hands, coughed up from a body wracked by disease, cherry wine red and wet against the skin. Each step is a shamble, whole body shaking and nearly collapsing as he advances, but he has to do this, he has to, really, even if just for his own sake. Because this isn’t about the eyes, this was never about the eyes, if he didn’t burn himself through entirely during the battle, the illness is his own personal Amaterasu, black and deadly and consuming all that’s left, unable to be stopped.  
> He stops in front of his brother, trembling and wide-eyed, who tries to pull back against gray concrete as two fingers poke his forehead, right between the eyebrows. Just like when they were younger. Some of the blood on them smears against moonlight pale skin but this is no time to worry about. That, that sort of thing. He wishes he could apologize or say something, this secret is a burden and a curse and he promised, he did, that he would always be there, even if just as an obstacle to overcome.  
> Well. He can apologize, actually. He used to always do that, for not having enough time. And. There’s none of that left, anymore.  
> “I’m sorry, Sasuke. This is it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! so this is, uh. my first time writing and digitally publishing fanfic. itachi's death set off a huge catalyst chain of events in canon, and, besides him being my favorite character, i thought it might be interesting to explore a world where he didn't die, and everything that (i think) would entail. i'm not so sure if i have a regular update schedule planned out yet but i'll definitely be active writing this, so i hope you enjoy! comment if you have any questions or just want to say something!! hope i can hear from you guys!! 
> 
> EDIT: I originally published this in mid-January of 2019. It's my first ever fanfic, and I just wanted to say, I'm so happy with all the responses I've gotten so far (as of today, 7/21/19)!! I seriously didn't think my fic would be doing as well as it is. Thank you so, so much for all the support! It's also amazing for me to see my characterization and writing get better as I go on. Thank you to everyone for supporting me! (:
> 
> [here is my tumblr,](http://savingthecat.tumblr.com) if you want to reach me!

_There’s blood on his hands, coughed up from a body wracked by disease, cherry wine red and wet against the skin. Each step is a shamble, whole body shaking and nearly collapsing as he advances, but he has to do this, he has to, really, even if just for his own sake. Because this isn’t about the eyes, this was never about the eyes, if he didn’t burn himself through entirely during the battle, the illness is his own personal Amaterasu, black and deadly and consuming all that’s left, unable to be stopped._

  

_He stops in front of his brother, trembling and wide-eyed, who tries to pull back against gray concrete as two fingers poke his forehead, right between the eyebrows. Just like when they were younger. Some of the blood on them smears against moonlight pale skin but this is no time to worry about. That, that sort of thing. He wishes he could apologize or say something, this secret is a burden and a curse and he promised, he did, that he would always be there, even if just as an obstacle to overcome._

 

_Well. He can apologize, actually. He used to always do that, for not having enough time. And. There’s none of that left, anymore._

 

_“I’m sorry, Sasuke. This is it.”_

 

_But he smiles just slightly as he says it, because despite it all, as long as Sasuke never finds out ever, both him and the brother he adores so much can be fulfilled. Sated. Appeased. Maybe even happy. He hopes Sasuke picks up on his hint and takes his eyes, the special eyes, give him powers he doesn’t need to suffer to obtain._

 

_Besides, you don’t need to see when you’re dead._

 

_Itachi falls to the ground like a puppet with severed springs, and he closes his eyes and feels the darkness in his bones and blood and the veins around it. Sasuke will be the new head of the clan, and he’s strong now, he’ll be okay, it’ll all be okay. Itachi can even die with the same smile on his face. It’s over. The nothing reaches out to him and he. Finally, finally, gives in._

 

_And so, Itachi dies._

 

_This is it._

 

**.,.**

 

As it turns out, this isn’t it.

 

He opens his eyes (which hurt, they hurt, there’s still some blood rimming the edges) and around him Itachi sees the battle torn landscape, the buildings in their beautiful ruin and the sky is still storm gray and he thinks he hears the clouds growl, there’s still inkspill flames in the distance. His whole body, all of it, everything aches. How is he alive? _How?_ He made sure to deplete his chakra, all of it, needed to make sure he died so his brother could get the mangekyo sharingan, but maybe some of the power he transferred will allow that. Hopefully, unlikely as it is. And the fact that he can see means his eyes weren’t taken, either, and he moves his head as much as he can, which isn’t much, and he doesn’t see his brother _anywhere_ and he sort of just. Knows, deep down. He left with someone, or someone took him, and Itachi can barely even admit to himself who the most likely person to do that would be. But if that was the case… why was he left behind? Lack of time? Because he’s still alive?

 

It. None of this makes sense, really. And he’s dying, anyways, as it is, but it’ll just be prolonged, this time. His breaths are shallower and shallower and his eyes _still hurt_ and his body and his mind-

 

He hears voices, in the distance.

 

One loud one, someone yelling, that he recognizes. Brash and harsh and livid. There’s clearly a group, and they’ll find him eventually, so he closes his eyes for a bit, just to rest, but he’s not stupid enough, not even close, to think they’ll ever fall for someone playing dead, even without someone with a byakugan or any sensory type ninja. So he waits. If he dies before the Hidden Leaf party finds him, it’s probably for the better.

 

Or, actually, maybe it isn’t.

 

If Sasuke learns The Truth, he’ll act rashly, do something stupid, and Itachi must make sure that doesn’t happen, because even the gift of the black fire, of Amaterasu, might not be enough to stop. A specific person. If Itachi remains alive, then maybe he can prevent that, keep his younger brother from making some unalterable mistake. He-

 

His thoughts are cut short as he hears someone yelling at him. Same boy as before, and Itachi looks up into eyes full of blue electricity and fire and storms and fury, and he wishes he could get up to speak but his body won’t really let him.

 

“Naruto.” Itachi says, voice all deadpan, just general acknowledgment of his presence.

 

“ _Where is Sasuke?!_ ” Naruto is yelling at him, his voice is nothing but hatred and hurt.

 

“I’m not certain.” It’s honesty, and the two of them might have a mutual goal, here, so.

 

Naruto, as to be expected, doesn’t buy it. Prepares to lunge.

 

“ _YOU-”_

 

A hand on his chest stops him, holds him back, and Naruto backs down frustratedly, like some bird of prey ruffling its own orange feathers in irritation. It’s Kakashi, the copy ninja, red eye of the forsaken clan looking down, judging Itachi. Assessing him with the perception only the sharingan is capable of, all spiky gray hair and bored look, but Itachi can tell he’s surprised by the outcome, to see him here. If there are any vendettas about being stabbed for 72 hours straight in Itachi’s nightmare realm, Kakashi doesn’t make them obvious. By now, Itachi has attracted quite a crowd, anxiously shuffling teenage shinobi he doesn’t know the name of. He can understand their fear. He knows what they say about him back in the village.

 

Kakashi turns around towards the swarm of Chunin(?). “Give me a moment alone. Everyone, go back to Yamato. Sakura, make sure you have enough chakra to handle a moderately serious wound.”

 

“But, Sensei!” It’s some girl with pink hair, sounding all accusatory, she seems familiar, just just barely, but Itachi isn’t sure. His mind isn’t at top capacity, but he thinks he saw her in the forest, once, when the Akatsuki were harvesting the One Tail. Trying to get to the Jinchuuriki. “He’s dangerous! You can’t just-” Naruto clearly shares the sentiment, starting to get riled up also, “Yeah! Kakashi-”

And. Kakashi waves a hand, ending the conversation, and the two back off wordlessly, but the girl shoots Itachi a glance, and there’s worry there, so clearly poisoning her gaze. Naruto does the same, looks between Kakashi and Itachi, though his expression is more of a warning, if anything.

 

Once they’re all gone, the group has dispersed and disappeared, Kakashi crouches down, so that he’s eye to eye with Itachi, sharingan meeting Itachi’s dark, dark eyes, eyes with the vision fading away, before Kakashi covers his sharingan eye again, with his headband.

 

“You’re out of chakra.” Kakashi says, and is silent, but Itachi says nothing to that. So. After a few minutes, Kakashi continues. “You let him win, didn’t you?”

 

Another pause, before Itachi does speak, “He’s gotten stronger.”

 

“But not as strong as you. You were his driving force to improve, you know, and as his mentor I found his ambition admirable, but not what it stemmed from. You encouraged it, though. Or at least, that’s what it seems like to me. You had several opportunities to kill him, if you actually wanted him dead.” Itachi narrows his eyes a bit, but says nothing. They both let the fact that there’s more to the story hang heavy in the air, already thick with rain humidity. “Though... I can’t read minds.”

 

Itachi is quiet again, as always, and he’s thinking, analyzing the situation, as he does. And his body is seized all over by some sharp pain, and he holds his hand to his mouth, blood hacks out of his lungs, and it leaves him gasping for air.

 

“You need healing.” Kakashi sighs, sounds exasperated when he speaks next. “We need to take you back to the village for questioning anyways. You know the procedure. Please don’t make this difficult, Itachi.”

 

It’s not. Really. Like he can do all that much now, as it is. The procedure. He remembers, all the way back then, being in ANBU. Captured enemy ninja. Well, he is certainly an enemy, isn’t he? Though, one keeping the Akatsuki from laying a single finger on the Hidden Leaf village. But it’s not like they know that. “I understand.”

 

Itachi doesn’t know how to describe it, really, but there’s some silent understanding between the two of them, right now. Kakashi seems to almost. Know, instinctively, that Itachi doesn’t plan on killing anyone, hurting anyone. The Elders, maybe _maybe_ even Danzo, will confirm that, too, his loyalty to the Hidden Leaf.

 

“Sorry about this, by the way.” Kakashi unties Itachi’s headband, puts it over his eyes, ties it again, and all Itachi can see now is black, like he’s gone blind. Like the darkness of the eyes has finally taken over, which it is getting so close to doing. He hears Kakashi moving around to his side, and there’s a sudden flash of _pain_ , intense, his whole shoulder hurts, and he can’t move his arm. After a few seconds, the same happens to his other side. Dislocated arms. It’s far from pleasant, really, but a smart decision, he would do the same, in Kakashi’s place. He feels Kakashi helping him up, pulls one of his arms around his shoulders as support to help Itachi walk. They begin, at a slow pace, to wherever Kakashi is leading him, and it’s strange, to think that this is what the world might look like soon. Will look like soon, if he lives much longer.

 

If the sickness or the ninjas of the Hidden Leaf don’t kill him first.

 

Kakashi doesn’t talk the whole time.

 

They must have reached some important destination, because Kakashi lies him down into grass, itchy against his back, even through fabric. Itachi hears a conversation, words grumbled and spoken and yelled.

 

“Sakura,” it’s Kakashi, “heal everything except for his shoulders. As much as you can.”

 

“B-but! Kakashi Sensei, he’s in the Bingo Books as a missing-nin, which means kill on sight! And I don’t really think we’ll have a much better chance than we do now…” The girl with the pink hair, that’s her voice, she must be Sakura. “Besides, he’s tried to kill Sasuke before!”

 

The mention of his little brother causes Itachi’s heart to just. Sink. Anchor into the blindness of his suffering. He doesn’t let it show, though, and it’s not like he ever really has.

 

Sort of muted, a bit, Itachi can hear Naruto being placated by some other adult (the voice is… he knows it), all about where Itachi knows Sasuke’s location, maybe something about interrogation, Itachi’s head is pounding and he can’t really focus on it. There are so, so many more voices, faded out in the background, too.

 

“Sakura, we need to bring him back to the village for questioning, and if he’s alive by the time we do that, we can probably learn some more about Sasuke’s whereabouts.” Itachi can hear Sakura sputtering momentarily, but then she groans and, in a few moments, Itachi can feel the healing aura above his body, held in shaky hands between timid, trembling arms. The wounds are starting to hurt less, the internal damage is lessening, and Itachi can all but taste the hatred and fear swimming inside this girl. She’s holding back, maybe for Kakashi, maybe out of fear, maybe both, maybe something else. After about a minute, and much to Itachi’s surprise, she speaks, with a voice that’s stone-edge hard, but there’s some shock, too. “You’re… sick.”

 

And of course a medical nin would know, Itachi thinks, and even though there were really no healers in Akatsuki, to make it better, he doesn’t think this Chunin girl, so oblivious to all the pain in the world, would be able to fix the way his body is dying from the inside. To some degree, age means nothing, in the shinobi world, he was younger than her when he became a Captain of ANBU; still, talent, genius, he knows this, and this girl, whatever she has, it isn’t unlocked, just yet.

 

“I am.”

 

She stills at that, for a fleeting second, but resumes healing, until the warmth of the life chakra is fading out. She’s breathing a bit harder, from exertion. Eventually, she pulls back, chakra flow no longer coursing deep into Itachi, and now he’s not on the brink of death. At least. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe.

 

"None of us are going to let you hurt Sasuke again." Her tone is indignant, speaking in a way Itachi knows she never would if his arms weren't dislocated and his eyes were uncovered and he had chakra. Regardless. "I won't. I won't let you touch him. Don't you  _dare_ even lay a finger on Sasuke-kun." Itachi says nothing, because there's nothing to say, really, and he's wondering if he should tell the village the Truth. All of it, every last glass shard fragment. He wonders about that, he really does, to the point where he's unaware of Sakura's continued presence. And she fades away into the background as Kakashi pulls his body up, hoists Itachi’s arm over his shoulder and Itachi can barely walk so he’s more being held up by a ragdoll arm than being supported and he can hear the whispers around him, all muffled, by the team sent, most likely, to track down his brother, or intercept Akatsuki.

 

Their voices grow quieter.

 

Itachi’s head is pounding and he can feel blood in his eyes.

 

Everything hurts.

 

He’s tired, his body aches.

 

Everything is dark, anyways.

 

Itachi gives into the black silence again.

 

**But this isn’t it.**


	2. Stone Skipping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyyy so the updates are gonna be sporadic, but i'll do my best to keep it going. 
> 
> BTW the best way to get in contact with me is through my tumblr ([click here](http://savingthecat.tumblr.com))
> 
> also here's some Sasuke & Tsunade POV! next chapter may or may not start with something from Naruto's perspective (;

_ He was crying, back then, as he looked at me. I thought it was just my imagination, seeing that. But these thoughts, these memories… they’re all starting to surface, now. _

 

Team Taka, is what they’re called. 

 

_ I’ll always be there for you. _

 

Taka means hawk, falcon. 

 

_ Even if just as an obstacle to overcome. _

 

Hebi, the old name, it meant snake. 

 

_ That’s what older brothers are for, right? _

 

The purpose is over, and the snake has shed its skin, or died maybe, instead.

 

_ I’m sorry, Sasuke. _

 

So now they’re the falcon, the predatory bird of freedom and justice.

 

_ Another time, okay? _

 

They have a new goal.

 

_ I’m sorry, Sasuke. _

 

Destroy Konoha.   
  


_ This is it. _

 

Sasuke yells out and strikes his fist, blue glow of the lightning blade surrounding it, against the wall, rugged old stone of the Akatsuki hideout, shatters directly through it. He’s breathing heavily, hard, ragged pants, and there’s a bit of sweat on his temple, his neck. Shaking slightly from where the cold breeze of the oceans seeps in through the cracks. 

 

He’s pacing and pacing and pacing and he can’t take it anymore. What Madara told him, all of it, and at first he didn’t believe it but the more he thinks about it, the more he knows  _ that’s what actually happened _ , and he’s mad, he’s mad at his brother but he’s madder at the village for assigning him that fate. The fury masks the grief and makes it easier to breathe. He’s already sewn the symbol of his clan to the back of his outfit, fan and fire, so they’ll know who it was that decimated their world, in a broader sense than just Sasuke. This is the revenge of the Uchiha, this is for his brother, this is for  _ justice.  _ Madara wants to take Sasuke and the rest of Team Taka to meet Kisame, join up with the organization, and fine, yes, Sasuke is in agreeance but. 

 

He needs a few days to himself, first.

 

He’s been immersing himself in training, because he needs to get stronger, get ready for this. He’s allowed no interruptions, from Jugo, Karin, Suigetsu. Madara came in once, deadly mistake, and Sasuke whipped around with such venom and speed to glare at him with red mirror wheel eyes, and he walked off, leaving Sasuke to his solitude. 

 

Sasuke is alone. 

 

Alone in the cavern walls that drip liquid minerals and the wide and empty space, it’s dark and the silence is heavy and he’s panting, leaning back against the wall. It really hasn’t been all that long since the battle, and it’s taken such a toll on Sasuke’s body, but he can’t drain the curse mark for chakra reserves, since that vile snake man’s  _ gift _ no longer taints his cells. Just another good thing his brother did for him. 

 

One among many.

 

The government is corrupt, unfair, broken.

 

His clan didn’t have to die.

 

His parents didn’t have to die.

 

_ Itachi  _ didn’t have to die.

  
  


/…\

 

_ The Konoha night outside his window is dark like raven eyes, and there are hundreds of stars in it, tiny glass shards of light that glimmer white against dense black. It’s a bit chilly, but not by much, only mild breath of a breeze running through the village. Sasuke can’t sleep. He can’t, and then he hears footsteps, outside his room. He’s just a child, six-years-old, and these things, they’re scary. Hesitantly, reminding himself to be brave, part of his Uchiha heritage, Sasuke stands, and walks nervously to his door, and sees Itachi, anxious over something, clearly, pace out, outside the house and into the world around it. _

 

_ Sasuke follows him for a while, ducking behind walls and trees when he thinks Itachi might be able to see him. Eventually, Itachi is at the lake, he walks down the long wooden pier only inches above the water, and he sits at the edge, legs dangling. Sasuke pads after him, and then, when he’s behind Itachi, Sasuke puts his chin on top of his brother’s head, resting it in hair colored like obsidian shards, and he wraps his arms very loosely around Itachi’s neck and shoulders in a hug. _

 

_ Sasuke, he can’t see it, but he can feel his brother smiling. Itachi picks up a small stone, skips it across the pitch-toned surface of the lake, with all the bright stars reflected in it, where it bounces and bounces and bounces, like it’s trying to flee, escape. _

 

_ “Hello, Sasuke.” _

 

_ “Older brother! I was worried when you walked out all alone.” He makes a pouty expression.  _

 

_ “Don’t worry, I’m fine. I just needed to think.” _

 

_ Itachi picks up another stone, sends it off across the lake’s skin. _

 

_ “Hnnm! Are you sure?” Sasuke turns his head to the side a little bit. _

 

_ “I’m sure. Sasuke, it’s late. You should be asleep.”  _

 

_ Sasuke makes an indignant noise, but he is tired, he is, and he feels it all through his body, the exhaustion. He sits down on the left side of his brother, leans in against him, his shoulder. Yawns, soft sound. They’re both quiet and motionless for a while, before Itachi skips another rock, and Sasuke’s head flicks up by a bit, entranced. _

 

_ “Big brother! Do you think you could teach me how to do that?” _

 

_ Sasuke looks up with this glowing smile on his face and his eyes meet Itachi’s, both as deep and dark and full of soul as the lake around them, and Itachi smiles back, and he moves his hand out, pushes index and middle finger against Sasuke’s forehead in a single bouncing motion. _

 

_ “I’m sorry, Sasuke. Some other time, maybe.”  _

 

_ His voice is almost melancholic.  _

 

_ Sasuke huffs, but he leans against Itachi’s shoulder again, and within seconds, everything becomes nothing. _

 

**.,.**

 

_ Itachi has. A lot to think through. _

 

_ This whole mission, everything about it has been difficult. Should he betray his family or his village? The adage “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb” has been prominent, recently. He’s seen war. Itachi has seen war and bloodshed and death and needless suffering, and of all people in the entire world, he doesn’t want his brother to see it. The only one in his family who is untainted by this desire for revenge against the village. _

 

_ Itachi needs it to stay that way. _

 

_ And with Sasuke here against him, the choice becomes even easier. Itachi murmurs a “Thank you” under his breath, before he picks Sasuke up, his small chest rising and falling so gently, brings him back to his room, into his bed, pulls the covers over him. _

 

_ “One day I’ll teach you to skip stones, Sasuke,” Itachi says, to nobody in particular, really, “I promise.” _

 

\\.../

  
  


When Itachi wakes up, he can’t see, still. Itching feeling of fabric around his face lets him know that it’s his headband, still, that’s blinding him. His shoulders are no longer in this agonizing pain, the one they were in before, so the dislocation has been fixed, but he still can’t move them, he’s sitting in some chair and his arms have been entirely tied down, he can’t even move his fingers. Same with his legs. He can’t explain it, but the room he’s in, it feels so familiar, and judging by literally common sense, it’s the interrogation room, in the Hokage’s building. 

 

Itachi waits, because there isn’t much else he can do.

 

And, after some time, he hears footfall. 

 

Clacking of heels, a woman? The chakra is strong, comes off of her in waves, and so this must be Princess Tsunade, one of the Sannin, the Hokage.

 

The sound of her voice, when she speaks, confirms that.

 

“Itachi Uchiha. So, the mission to contain you was a success.” Itachi can feel a few other people around her, just knows that they’re there, instinctually. Itachi is quiet, as she continues to speak. Her next words are more murmured to herself, than anything. “I’m not usually this lucky.”

 

Itachi’s body is still weary and faded, and so he knows he’s received no medical care since Sakura’s healing aura, and the sudden pain in his chest stabs at him, and Tsunade is just speaking again as he starts hacking up blood, coughing it out in waves, and it  _ hurts  _ it really does, and he hears a small gasp, from someone in the background. Itachi tries to regain his composure as quickly as he can, and then he feels Tsunade’s finger, against him. She’s using a medical-nin technique, Itachi knows, assessing him for injuries.

 

“Lady Tsunade!” Another woman, her voice and the urgency of it match the gasp from earlier, “He’s dangerous, you shouldn’t be-”  
  
“Quiet, Shizune!” The Hokage cuts her off quickly and bluntly and with fire, and Itachi is sure, if he could see, that Shizune would be retreating back and into herself a bit. Or maybe not. It’s just an assumption. Tsunade makes a ‘hmmmm’ noise. “I haven’t seen this sickness in a long time. And you’re in the later stages, too...” Her fingers touch the metal of the headband, around where his eye socket would be, it presses in against him just so slightly. She jolts her fingers back in a single movement, hurriedly. “Uchiha… Your eyes are... Are you going blind?” 

 

“You’re going to need my help.” Is all Itachi says, on that subject. “Go to the village elders, and ask them for the truth. We will continue our discussion further once you have learned some vital information.”

 

“Ha!  _ You  _ are in no position to be telling  _ me  _ what to do. Don’t forget who’s the Hokage and who’s tied to a chair. You’re being awfully brash, for someone half my age.”

 

“I’m fully willing to assist in the search for my younger brother and answer any questions you may have, but I know you will not believe the reason for my cooperation should I give it to you.”

 

It’s silent for a moment, and then two moments, and then Tsunade speaks again. “Pah. Fine. I’ll be back soon.”

 

And the room is silent all over again.

  
  


**.,.**

  
  


“Lady Tsunade!” It’s Shizune, at her side, rushing to catch up, “how can we trust anything he says to us? He’s a part of Akatsuki. This could be some sort of plot. The Elders could be under a genjutsu, and we know he’s a genjutsu specialist.”

 

“I can’t explain it.” Tsunade sighs. “I just have a feeling that this is the right decision.” She laughs just a bit, though mostly devoid of humor, sort of a rough sound. “Maybe I’ve been influenced a bit too much by that little brat, Naruto.”

 

**.. . ..**

 

Of all the reasons why things are the way they are, Tsunade never expected this to be one of them.


	3. The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anddd here's some naruto POV! idk if you guys notice this, but for each of the characters, i try to write their POV scenes slightly differently, to match the character i'm writing it for. again, i'm feeling inspired, so i'm sort of pumping out chapters at this point. PLEASE come talk to me at my tumblr ([click here](http://savingthecat.tumblr.com)) thanks!!!!

Naruto, actually,  _ does  _ think he’s a pretty good ninja,  _ thank you very much _ . 

 

Good enough to sneak into some super weird private meeting thing that old Grandma Tsunade was having with the village Elders. He knew it was about Itachi, and anything about Itachi has to do with Sasuke, he figures, so this was  _ totally his business _ , because Sasuke is his best friend ever in the world, basically his brother, and Naruto needs to find out whatever he can to save him.

 

Even if that requires, like.

 

Crawling through the ceiling to hear conversations in super private meetings.

 

Well.

  
  
What he heard.

 

Was.

 

Really not what he expected.

 

_ At all. _

 

And so now, Naruto is sneaking his way back to the interrogation room, back to Itachi, because  _ he  _ needs to have a conversation with him, and boy does Naruto have a lot to say. A lot to ask. He wants to think there’s no way that this is true, because this Itachi guy is evil, right? Sasuke went on this whole quest to kill him! He even joined forces with Orochimaru! This is all swimming in Naruto’s head and it’s so, so hard to think through. If Itachi wanted Sasuke to be safe so badly, why wouldn’t he tell him? People tell Naruto that he’s “slow” more often than he’d like to hear, but no, no, this just doesn’t make sense. Anybody else would be confused, in his position, Naruto is certain of it.

 

Okay, fine, so he’s at the door.

 

He’s still for a moment, before he walks in. This is someone who’s wanted him dead, or rather, wanted the beast inside him, sealed up and rabid in his gut. The process of extraction would result in his death, so Naruto doesn’t see the two as mutually exclusive. 

 

The room is dark, and the door slams behind Naruto louder than he’d like, and he can see Itachi’s head move a bit, after he hears the sound. Naruto walks forwards, and he has all the words in his mouth, right there on his tongue, and he’s standing a few feet away from the man who made Sasuke’s life all tortured and dark, and. Naruto sees blood, all over him. His mouth, his lap. Even the way he breathes is weak, rattled, Naruto wonders if these are the extent of his injuries from his battle with Sasuke. But that seems unlikely, because he wasn’t this bad after Sakura helped him, so something… Something happened, between now and then? Naruto stops, holds back everything that was bottled up in his head, and he tilts his head a bit as he asks the question.

 

“Are you hurt?” It’s not particularly sympathetic, just curious, and anyways Naruto’s feelings about this guy are an ever-evolving amalgam in his mind right now so he’s not sure if he feels bad for him or not. 

 

Itachi remains silent and sullen and it frustrates Naruto, and he can feel the hints of that emotion itching at his skin. He sure is Sasuke’s brother. And since  _ that  _ clearly isn’t going to work, Naruto lets the thoughts drain out like blood from a deep wound.

 

“Why didn’t you just  _ tell Sasuke?! _ ” Naruto starts, trying to hold back everything inside him, all of the emotions of every single kind, “He left the village to join Orochimaru since he wanted to be powerful enough to defeat you! He left his friends, his home! All of the people who thought about him! Why didn’t you tell him you were trying to protect him?!  _ Why?!  _ He could’ve… He wouldn’t have to leave that way!”

 

Itachi says nothing, and that causes the flame in Naruto to burn higher and higher, and he’s closed the distance and he’s in Itachi’s face now as he yells.

 

“Sasuke is like a brother to me! He’s more of a brother to me than you ever were to him! What kind of brother would just  _ leave _ after something like that!? You should’ve told him something! He’s your family!” Naruto is panting a little bit, after yelling all that, and anyways, he has a weird relationship with the concept of family, so he just needs to stop, for a moment. Glare at Itachi, even if Itachi can’t see it. “He would’ve understood, I’m sure! And even if he didn’t, why would you leave him alone?! Don’t you…  _ Don’t you know how much it hurts to be alone _ ?!”

 

This. This topic, Sasuke, loneliness, family, it’s all pretty emotionally charged for Naruto, and he wants to cry, he’s about to cry, he can feel it in his throat and in his eyes and in his chest. “Don’t you-”

 

“Jinchuuriki are often shunned wherever they live. I’m sure Sasuke’s feeling of loneliness is one that you can sympathize with.” Itachi cuts him off and every word just makes Naruto hurt worse. 

 

“Yeah, well, what would you know?! You’re the one that left him! It’s your fault he’s like this!” 

 

Itachi opens his mouth to speak, maybe to defend himself but Naruto doesn’t care because he’s so  _ mad _ , he feels that emotion, that anger, so strongly, it pulses through his body in a chemical rush. He-

 

“ _ NARUTO _ ! How did you get in here?!” 

 

Naruto’s face pales slightly, as he turns around to see Tsunade, who’s basically growling at him, walking towards him chin high and chest out, confidently and threateningly. Quickly, though, he regains his footing, crosses his arms in an argumentative posture. “I walked in. It’s not like this place is a secret or anything. Besides,” Naruto points to Itachi, “he- OW!”

 

Tsunade grabs his ear, yanks him towards her. “I don’t want to hear it. You shouldn’t be in here.” She sighs, though, sort of defeated. “I would say this isn’t your business… But I guess it’s a bit too late for that. How much do you know?”

 

“Did… did the village really order him to kill his whole clan?” Naruto’s voice is a bit awestruck, all confused and curious, because this. This doesn’t make sense. And anyways, he’s talking about Itachi like he isn’t here but. He hasn’t been super helpful conversation-wise through the past few minutes, so directing anything to him would probably be pointless.

 

“They did. Everyone.” Actually, maybe the world is full of surprises because Itachi begins to speak, “Hate me for it, if you want. My clan was about to stage a selfish uprising that would’ve resulted in so many unnecessary deaths. You’ve never seen the horrors of war.”

 

Naruto thinks for a moment before something just. Clicks. In his brain. “Wait, wait a moment. You said  _ everyone _ , but Sasuke is your brother, and you didn’t kill him.”

 

 “You clearly snuck into the secret meeting about this topic. I assume they would’ve addressed that.” Itachi stops before talking, coughs a bit, no blood, this time. “Before I left, as I was also commanded to do, I took actions to ensure his safety.”

 

“But… all that time ago, when you saw him again… and your fight recently. You were trying to kill him. So why…?”

 

“I easily could’ve, both times. I allowed him to win in our recent battle. The reasoning for that is irrelevant, as it stands. I knew I was his driving force to become stronger, so I needed to push him to cultivate that strength, even if it required him hating me.”

 

Naruto’s shoulders drop and his whole body seems to drop and it’s like the air is dragged from his lungs. It’s… weird. And not what he’s been expecting, even a little bit. “So you really do care about Sasuke, huh?”

 

Even though there’s a headband obscuring him, Naruto can feel Itachi looking deep into his eyes, into him. “I promised I would always be there for him. That’s what older brothers are for.”  

 

**.,.**

  
  


Itachi can feel Tsunade walking towards him, and he’s still, as always.

 

“Okay,” she says, “so I’ve learned what you want me to learn.”

 

She’s clearly not happy with the situation, because the power balance is tumultuous and she’s being bested by someone blinded and tied to a chair. She’s the Hokage, Itachi is a hostage, somehow still gaining the upper hand. He supposes he can sympathize with the humiliation that brings, but he doesn’t feel much empathy for her. Itachi doesn’t need to make any motion or sound to show that he’s listening raptly. 

 

“I’m not sure if I trust you yet or not, Uchiha, but with the speed your illness is progressing, we’ll need to get you treatment before we take steps towards any other goal. For you to have lasted as long as you have as bad as it is, you were taking medications. Shizune and Sakura have been working to help make more of them. You’re going to need to take those every day from now on. There wasn’t a medical specialist in the Akatsuki, was there?”

 

“If you died of injuries, that signified your own weakness,” Itachi says, and Tsunade hums in recognition. He hears a small “huh” noise from Naruto.

 

“So there weren’t any healers?” 

 

“No.”

 

“ _ Anyways _ .” Tsunade clearly wants to get to the point here, “I’m going to need to personally do some treatments. I can cure everything except for the damage done to your eyes. Because the sharingan is a unique kekkei genkai, the methods for treating your specific injury are… Well, I’ll be honest, I don’t know them. I’ll go through the archives and do some research, but until then, I can only do regular treatments to prevent the condition from growing worse. Once I’ve cured the rest of your disease, the strain on your eyes won’t be as bad, and with the medications and regular healing I’ll be giving you, you aren’t going to go blind, even if you continue to use the special abilities of your sharingan. However, things aren’t going to get better, either.”

 

Naruto, of course, cuts in. “You’re going blind? Is that a part of the sharingan? Is Sasuke...” He can’t finish the question. Itachi hears the worry in his voice. Deep down, he’s glad Sasuke has friends like this, who really do care about him.

 

“No, the blindness is unique to the ‘mangekyou’ form of the sharingan. Sasuke should be fine.” 

 

He hears Naruto huff out a breath of relief. Itachi can almost physically feel the energy, the passion and the care and the protectiveness coming off of Naruto like waves, the concern for his little brother tangible in just the way he moves, speaks, breathes. 

 

“The treatments will begin now. I’m having you escorted to the hospital, but you will remain guarded by ANBU members at all times, your eyes will remain covered, and your hands will remain immobile.” 

 

“I understand.”

 

“Good.” Itachi hears footsteps coming his way, almost silent, like shadows stepping across the ground. ANBU. He feels the restraints tying him to the chair loosen, he’s being helped up, though he still can’t move his hands, fingers. There’s someone in front of him, someone behind him, someone on each of his sides, and silently they all guide him, weak as he is and barely standing, to the direction of the hospital, presumably, and he gets the feeling Naruto is trailing along after him. Tsunade should say something about it. Not that it’ll stop him.

 

He hears her speak, mumble under her breath, actually. 

 

“If he really does end up helping us, we’re going to need his eyes.  _ Dammit _ , I wish I knew how to fix that.”

 

Itachi knows one way to fix his eyes, actually.

 

There’s someone in this world who could be his brightness.

 

But he’d rather live in darkness than steal that light.

  
  


**.,.**

  
  


Sasuke sits where the cave meets the sea, where it’s dark outside, frigid midnight, the waves are so black, like oil mumbling against the beach, hissing with each throw. There are clouds out, all across the night sky, ebony parasites, and there’s no light at all because the moon and the stars are buried alive.

 

It’s hard to come to terms with your one goal in life being built on the corpses of lies.


	4. A Black Rose for the Funeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for typos or grammatical errors, i don't edit.
> 
> ANYWAYS! sai POV this chapter! he's a lot of fun to write. this one was more sasuke-centric but i swear to you this will obviously remain centered around itachi (it's just... both of their characters heavily revolve around the other so). fight scene next chapter! urghh sometimes i hate sticking to canon because the female characters are so poorly written but i'm revising this to say that i DO change that in the upcoming chapters. i got tired of bad female characterization so get ready for some badass girls! 
> 
> as always follow me/talk to me on tumblr ([click here](http://savingthecat.tumblr.com)) !! p. please

“I don’t understand. Why isn’t it _working_?”

 

It’s all but impossible for Sasuke to keep his temper under control, but he’s trying, he really is. When Madara takes a step forwards, a glare with eyes as red as hatred itself keeps him in place. He’s not scared of Sasuke, Sasuke knows this, he’s just trying to keep on… friendly terms, maybe, or at least the friendliest terms they could ever be on.

 

“I saw Itachi die.”

 

_“I’m sorry Sasuke...”_

 

“So why isn’t _it working_?”

 

_“...This is it.”_

 

“I should be able to activate the mangekyou sharingan. You mentioned that being the reason he died in front of me. It was in order to give me that ability.” Sasuke narrows his eyes a bit, steadies himself. Makes a ‘tch’ sound. “I never wanted to gain strength my brother’s way anyways.”

 

“I know, Sasuke. That’s why I didn’t bring his body. A waste, but… it wasn’t worth carrying around, if you weren’t going to use his eyes.”

 

Sasuke wishes a bit, deep down, that there could’ve been a burial. A pyre. Something. Just leaving Itachi’s body to the crows, the ones it was made of, in his genjutsu, each injured limb bursting into inky birds, it feels. Wrong. Actually… the Hidden Leaf might find it. Itachi’s body. And then what? Dissect his eyes? Study the sharingan? Sasuke pushes those thoughts from his mind, because he’s living in the here and now and he’s getting revenge, so it’ll be okay.

 

“Still… the mangekyou will be a formidable asset. It’s earned by killing your closest friend, you know; granted, Itachi gained it by killing a relative, albeit one he was particularly close to, so his final wish that his death would grant it to you was possible in theory. Is there anyone else, Sasuke? A close friend you had back in the village?”

 

Sasuke thinks, for a second. The breeze echoes in the cave room, water running in drops down the ceiling, and he’s so excited to leave, get out of the hideout, out of the darkness and cold that swallow the air. The question does bring… someone in particular, into his mind. Blonde hair and loud voice, full of passion as bright as a thousand golden summer suns. Still.

 

“I had someone I considered my best friend, once. But I’ve severed those ties.”

 

“There’s still some possibility you care about this person, deep down. Think, Sasuke. Do you care, even just by the smallest amount?”

 

Sasuke’s response is near-immediate.

 

“No.”

 

“It might be worth a try.”

 

“Maybe,” Sasuke deactivates his sharingan, returns his eyes to their normal beetle shell darkness. No need to waste chakra, especially while he’s recovering, “but it would pose some problems for the Akatsuki. The target would be the Nine-Tails jinchuuriki. Don’t play dumb with me. You already knew that.”

 

 “You’re catching on fast.” Madara chuckles, a bit, and it’s this awful sound and Sasuke hates it. “But as you learned from your most recent battle, simply having them die in front of you, partially due to wounds you inflicted, should give you your eyes. I’d say we have a mutual interest in capturing the jinchuuriki, especially seeing as you’re interested in joining our ranks.”

 

“I’d rather discuss this with the rest of Team Taka and Kisame.” Sasuke doesn’t like teamwork; he doesn’t like to work in tandem with others, because they always slow him down, always, but for this to work, they need collaboration, to make sure each facet and cog fits evenly into the other pieces. Sasuke turns, begins to walk away, making it evident this conversation is over.

 

“In that case, gather your team. You know when to meet and where.”

 

Saske does, in fact, know.

But even Sasuke, with the all seeing eye, the sharingan, he doesn’t notice a small black mouse, wet with ink and quiet as the moon rising, that’s traveled a long, long way.

  


**.,.**

 

Sai is looking for Naruto.

 

One of the few things he knows about people, as a definitive, is that they are habitual. He read that in a book, too, but this is knowledge Sai has already acquired long before. So he’s checked the places that Naruto frequents; ramen stand, his house (Sai knocked on the door and didn’t hear a response, so he might still be there, but proper social conventions suggest you refrain from entering someone’s house without permission), the grass field where he always trains. And there’s been no sign of him, but as he walks past the Yamanaka owned flower shop, he sees familiar figures through the window. The way their bodies move is expressive, might be good for a gesture drawing one day, but it’s the people themselves Sai is interested in talking to, Sakura and Ino.

 

When he walks in, Ino is behind the counter, Sakura is leaning on it, and they’re gossiping about the situation with the older Uchiha brother, and Sai knows that you’re not supposed to interrupt two people in the middle of a conversation, because that’s impolite, and can potentially result in those specific individuals being frustrated with you. Sai doesn’t like it, at all, when people are frustrated with him, though that’s probably an innate human trait; he can’t always tell _when exactly_ they’re frustrated with him, either, which makes it worse, and he wants people to like him and think he’s nice, which they don’t do when they’re annoyed with you.

 

It can all be a bit confusing.

 

Eventually, they stop talking, when Sakura notices him, and Sai smiles at her, in that small, polite way, closed eyes.

 

“My apologies. I don’t mean to interrupt, but do you know where Naruto is?”

 

“Naruto?” Sakura asks, and she seems to be thinking about it, momentarily. “Hmm… Have you checked Ichiraku?”

 

“Yes. His house and the training fields as well. I figured that as someone who has been his teammate and… friend, for longer than I have, you might have a better idea.”

 

Sakura shrugs. “Those are all the places I would’ve checked. Well, you know how he is; he’ll show up somewhere throwing a tantrum eventually.”

 

That seems about right, to Sai. Naruto is prone to emotional outbursts, it’s something Sai has noticed, part of his personality. “I suppose.”

 

Sakura tilts her head a bit, raises an eyebrow, that’s confusion. “Why?”

Sai opens his mouth to speak, when, all of a sudden Ino is all over him, hugging him and touchy, and he’s sort of frozen in place, not really sure what to say or do, because Sai is not a very touchy person, and he isn’t quite sure what to make of the gesture, he thinks it through for a moment, while Ino speaks.

 

“Aw, Sai, why don’t you just hang out with us? Hmm?”

 

Sakura shoots her a glare and Sai remembers something he read once, to understand why people touch each other.

 

“Generally, mild acts of physical affection between two individuals initiated without warning such as a hug or touch on the shoulder, especially, but not always, between a man and a woman, indicate romantic attraction.” Sai smiles at Ino, politely. “I’m sorry, Ino, but I don’t feel the same way.”

 

Ino gapes, and suddenly she’s yelling in his face, something about _how it’s impolite_ and _why would you just say that_ and Sai steps back, holds his hands up defensively before she storms off.

 

Sai doesn’t get it. He turns to Sakura. He feels a bit guilty, because he knows he upset her, he just isn’t sure. What caused that.

 

“Did I say something wrong?”

 

She just sighs- exasperated? Why is she exasperated? “You don’t just say stuff like that unless someone asks.” She slaps Sai’s notebook out of his hands, onto the ground as he takes notes on this. “And quit it with the notebook. Why do you need to see Naruto?”

 

“Well-” Sakura holds up her hand, Sai stops speaking, even though he was just at the beginning of his sentence. He leans down and picks his notebook up as she begins to talk. “Forget it. I need to go make sure Ino is okay. Is there anything else you need?”

 

“I’d like to buy a flower, actually.” Sai moves among the arrays of flowers, perfectly color coded and divided by species, it’s all very aesthetically appealing, really. He stops at the roses- these are symbols of concern traditionally, aren’t they?- and he picks out a black one, and it’s so beautiful, he likes how the petals seem like they’re dipped in his ink. Judging by the demeanor of the recipient, Sai thinks he’ll like it, also. “This one specifically. It’s a gift for a...” His eyes narrow a bit, he isn’t exactly sure what their relationship could be titled, but this is the most appropriate word, he supposes, “...colleague?”

 

Sai turns to see Ino next to him, and _when did she get there_ and anyways she seems to be over her anger from earlier, which is good, it makes Sai feel a bit better.

 

Ino shrugs. “We have a bunch of those, and they’re cheap anyways. You can just take it.”

 

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” Sai smiles, though the expression drops, at the next sentences. “And I’m very sorry about upsetting you earlier, it wasn’t my intention at all. I hope we can remain on good terms.”

 

Ino just waves her hand, giggles a bit, and Sai isn’t sure why that’s funny but at least it’s a positive reaction. “Pshh. It’s not that big a deal. Besides, there’s always time for you to develop those feelings.” She winks, and Sakura rolls her eyes, nudges Ino hard with her elbow.

 

“Er. I guess.”

 

Sakura whirls around, all in Ino’s face, worked up, green fire in her eyes.

 

“Quit hitting on my teammates, Ino-pig!”

 

“You _cannot_ get mad at me for that, forehead girl! _I’m_ not the one going on some stupid journey to save a homicidal psychopath! At least I don’t have a crush on someone who’s gone totally off the rails!”

 

“Sasuke is not a homicidal psychopath!”

 

“I think wanting to kill your brother counts as homicidal!”

 

“His older brother killed his entire clan!”

 

“ _Yeah, well, didn’t he try to kill you and Naruto also_?”

 

Sai. Really really does not want to be involved with this, and the two are pretty much already at each other’s throats, and he smiles awkwardly, and sort of. Skirts away, a bit, slow motions, like he’s trying to back away from a venomous snake.

 

“I think I should leave.”

 

The fighting immediately ceases, the two girls look at him, and suddenly the two of them look like they’re on friendly terms again. Sai doesn’t get their friendship. He can’t really wrap his brain around it even partially.

 

Ino waves, all sweet and sugary. “Bye! Come back whenever you’d like!”

 

Sakura gives a small wave, too. “See you, Sai.”

 

They speak to each other, after he leaves the store, unheard to Sai. Ino to Sakura.

 

“He… does know those are for funerals, right? And I don’t know any that are going on…”

 

Sakura fidgets with the stems of a few flowers. “I have no idea with him.”

 

**.. . ..**

 

The hospital smells like it always does, all sterile, bleach and antiseptic, and the lights are bright above Sai’s head, pierce at his vision. When he says who he’s visiting for, the receptionist is hesitant, at best, to let him in the room, but she does, regardless. Helps that Sai has an ANBU license. He’s elite. They trust him.

 

Itachi Uchiha looks almost pitiful in the hospital bed, and it’s strange, how many of them were sent to capture someone so sickly looking, so frail. Sai sits by his side, there’s a chair there, and he watches Itachi, whose arms, hands, legs are all tied down, and he has his headband tied around his eyes, and again Sai is perplexed by all the precautions.

 

How.

 

How dangerous is the man in front of him?

 

_Truly?_

 

He places the black rose on a small stand next to Itachi’s hospital bed. There are no cards, no flowers, nothing besides Sai’s rose, crow black with soft, soft petals. Sai can understand why, really, he can. Itachi is a traitor to the village, he killed his clan, joined the Akatsuki, is by every means possible a terrible person. But he wasn’t _always_ ; and Sai has been told over and over that he’s socially inept, cannot read people or situations, but he has a gut feeling, deep inside him, that there’s more to this than he knows. That Itachi might not be that bad after all.

 

“I know you can’t see me right now,” Sai sees Itachi’s head turn, towards him, “but my name is Sai. I was also affiliated with the ANBU Black Ops, and Danzo, so I heard your name a few times. You were a captain, and several members secretly spoke of how they respected your talents. I learned once that when someone you admire or respect is in the hospital, sending them good wishes is an appropriate and uplifting thing to do. I’m not always the best with people, but I brought you a flower with those intentions in mind. It’s a black rose. I… I don’t know why, but I thought you would like that color.”

 

Itachi is silent for a long moment, and Sai sits there, observing, and he feels like he’s having a wordless conversation with Itachi, who is looking at him with eyes blinded by fabric and metal. After a few minutes, Sai stands, he still needs to find Naruto, after all.

 

“I need to get going.” He says, and he turns to look at Itachi one last time before he goes. “I hope you get a chance to look at the flower at some point. Personally, I think it’s very beautiful.”

 

Sai sees a smile soft on Itachi’s lips, still caked a bit in blood, around the edges. “Thank you, Sai. It means a lot to me.”

 

**.,.**

  


Naruto is sitting at the top of the cliff, the one that looks over the entire span of the Hidden Leaf, with the carved faces down on the side. Each Hokage the village has had. Naruto… he _really really really,_ more than nearly anything, wants his face there, the recognition and respect that accompany the position. He’s wanted it for, what, his whole life?

 

Naruto guesses that he’s maybe always blindly revered whoever led them.

 

What he heard during the meeting hit him like a physical shock, and he doubts even Sasuke’s chidori would do as much lasting damage. He… he feels really, really bad for Itachi. At thirteen, he was told to either kill the entirety of his clan, or let war ensue. And yeah, Naruto guesses, this guy’s always been a villain to him, because he’s been a villain to Naruto’s _best friend ever_ and he’s seemed so calm, in every combat situation, so unbreakable, and Naruto always. Well. Always took him at face value, as a cold-hearted killer.

 

Or.

 

Not always.

 

He did talk to Naruto once…

 

But anyways.

 

Naruto, he can’t even begin to imagine having to make a choice like _that_ when you’re just thirteen; there’s no way, he can’t even begin to comprehend it, and still, against orders, Itachi left Sasuke alive. And it was the Hokage, the government, that slammed down that gavel, and left Sasuke and Itachi as these broken, cracked porcelain human beings. It’s not fair.

 

_IT’S NOT FAIR._

 

Emotion pulses through Naruto, hot in his veins, and he knows what he _has_ to do now, because if he ran the village, if he was Hokage, this would never, ever happen, and _he is Naruto Uzumaki_ , if he keeps training, gets stronger, saves his best friend, then he’ll become Hokage, and the recognition and acceptance part of it matters now less than ever, because to Naruto, now, this is about fixing a broken system, even if he has to make new pieces.

 

He wonders where the Pervy Sage is, because Jiraiya would definitely be able to help him with all of this. Eh, probably going around scoping through hot springs for pretty ladies. Naruto isn’t worried, because even if something does happen, Jiraiya will be fine. He’s one of the strongest people Naruto knows, so if someone tries to take him on, he’ll kick ass. Naruto just misses him a bit, is all. He wonders what the Pervy Sage will think of this whole Itachi thing. They can always discuss it over ramen, after all.

 

Actually, suddenly, he wonders now, how Sasuke would react to all of this. His brother being alive, _and a good guy after all_ , and-

 

“Naruto! There you are.”  


Naruto turns around, and he hears Sai’s voice, sees him running up the hill in his direction, out of breath. Sai stops in front of him, panting a bit, smiles weakly up at him.

 

“Uh… hi, Sai.” Sai seems like he really went out of his way to talk to Naruto, and Naruto wonders why.

 

“I… I have some information that I think you would… like to hear.” Sai talks between heavy breaths, but quickly recovers.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“It’s about your previous teammate, the one I replac-”

 

Naruto jolts a bit in shock, and also happiness and fear and maybe a million other emotions at the same time he can’t really put names to and he doesn’t even realize that he’s getting up into Sai’s face, just a bit. “It’s about Sasuke?”

 

Sai shifts backwards slightly, and Naruto takes a step back, just then recognizing the slight over exuberance. “Yes, it’s about Sasuke Uchiha. I think I might know where he-” Naruto grabs Sai’s arm, begins pulling him along as he runs, and Sai stumbles for a few steps before keeping up the pace. “ _Naruto, what are you-_ ”  
  
“If you know where Sasuke is, we _have_ to tell Old Lady Tsunade, and get a mission assigned to go find him as soon as possible! We’ve been so close so many times, and I am _not_ going to lose him again.”

 

“Naruto, I haven’t even told you the details-”

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, just tell me on the way. Come on, Sai, hurry up!”

  


**.. . ..**

  


Naruto _slams_ the door to the Hokage’s office open, jolting Sai in behind him by the arm like a ragdoll, who looks a bit disgruntled, really.

 

“Grandma Tsunade!”

 

Tsunade stands, crosses her arms, there are stacks and stacks of paperwork heaped in white hills all over her desk. Her eyes are a bit shaded underneath by lack of sleep, and she looks like she’s in an even worse mood than normal.

 

“Whaddya want _this time_ , kid?” She sounds pissed, but that’s not going to stop Naruto. He puts his hands on his hips, all indignantly, because he is _Naruto Uzumaki_ and he is going to get this mission!

 

“Sai thinks he might have information about where Sasuke is! You need to set up a mission so we can go find him!”

 

Tsunade raises an eyebrow, turns to look at Sai, who has a nervous smile on, is retreating a bit, because her gaze is burning deep into and through him. “Oh? And what information is this, exactly?”

 

“On our previous mission, I released some search mice to find Sasuke. I assumed they would’ve all dissipated by now, but I suppose one survived. It found Sasuke a good distance east from where the battle between him and his older brother took place, and it returned to me earlier this morning.”

 

“Hmm…”

 

“Come onnnn.” Naruto urges, and now he has his hands against the edge of the Hokage’s desk, closer to Tsunade, so she can see _how much this means to him_ , because it means _so, so much_.

 

“It’s recent information.” Sai’s even backing him up, and that lets the energy inside Naruto pulse brighter, “If it’s in your interest to find Sasuke, considering how sporadic his location has been, this will probably be the best chance we’ll have for a while.”

  
  
Naruto doesn’t exactly know what ‘spore-attic’ means, but he agrees with everything else Sai is saying, so, “Yeah, yeah! C’mon, Grandma!”

 

Tsunade pauses for a moment, her chin rests in her hand, thinking each word over. After a moment, she glares, slams her fist down against the table.

 

“ _Absolutely not._ "

  


**.,.**

  


Something Itachi knows is that black roses are normally given as a parting gift to the dead, blessings for a funeral.

 

“ _I’m not always the best with people, but I brought you a flower with those intentions in mind. It’s a black rose. I… I don’t know why, but I thought you would like that color._ ”

 

He doubts Sai knows the significance, the boy seemed somewhat awkward, from the momentary words they shared, Itachi thinks. It was a genuine gesture of goodwill. Care. Respect. Maybe, even, a funeral can be metaphorical, here. The death of his perception as a black-hearted villain and murderer, which didn’t even seem to result in its intended cause.

 

“ _I hope you get a chance to look at the flower at some point. Personally, I think it’s very beautiful._ ”

 

And now the first person is laying their flowers on that casket.


	5. Chloroform

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god i am so sorry this took so long!!!!! i've had stuff going on irl and just.... ugh. but it IS the longest chapter, if that means anything. i had other stuff planned to go in here, but... it'll be in the next one, which is already partially written, so watch out for that. (;  
> also i just... refuse to edit so are there going to be errors? probably. who cares? not me. i've gotten positive feedback so far and it makes me really happy!!!! i'm so glad you guys like my first ever fic, it feels like a huge accomplishment. love you all. <3

/….\

 

_It’s the first night after the full moon._

 

_It’s just black at the rim, sliver of virgin paleness edged away by darkness._

 

_And so this is it, Sasuke’s first night alone._

 

_The clouds cover all the stars._

 

_He can’t sleep. He’s awake but he feels like he’s in a dream, all incorporeal emotionally, mentally._

 

_There’s still the chalk line there on the floor, just this sort of outline and physical reminder of his parents being._

 

_Well._

 

_It’s polite, or more comfortable, to say the following: passed away, deceased, no longer here._

 

_Sasuke sees no use in trying to ease any pain from himself, here._

 

_His parents are dead._

 

_Itachi killed them._

 

_I._

 

_Ta._

 

_Chi._

 

 _There’s no way, there’s no way, there’s no way, his perfect older brother, the Best Ninja in the World, all Sasuke has ever wanted to be, he couldn’t do this, wouldn’t hurt his family like this, hurt_ Sasuke _like this._

 

_But._

 

_He did._

 

_He sees the image in his mind, and it didn’t help, at all, that Sasuke was forced to see it so many times, Itachi stabbing everyone in his clan, his family, distant and close, and then it was the worst, swords through the backs of their parents. Screaming and crying and there was nothing that he could do about it._

 

 _Sasuke is living in this mentally liquid state of disbelief. Is he really, really, supposed to hate his brother? Truly? Itachi said he was supposed to. That this… was all fake. He never cared, how could he never care, this was just some morbid test to fight Sasuke, that’s not fair,_ Itachi is Sasuke’s favorite person ever and it is so unfair that he has to betray him like this how could he possibly do this it’s not fair it’s not fair it’s not fair he LOVES ITACHI.

 

_Sasuke washes his pillow, the next morning, clean off the tears._

 

_It’s not as if he slept anyways._

 

_Could he truly hate Itachi?_

 

_ <> _

 

_This question is answered, in complete finality, when Sasuke is twelve._

 

_Kakashi asks what his dream in life is._

 

_It’s not a dream, Sasuke says, because he’s going to make it a reality._

 

_There’s a man he’s going to kill._

 

_This is repentance, if anything._

  


_ <> _

 

_The curse mark promises a lot of power, if utilized correctly._

 

_Sasuke doesn’t need the assistance of the wretched and vile snake of a man._

 

_He’s an avenger._

 

_He’ll be an avenger all on his own._

 

_ <> _

 

_Or maybe not._

  


_There’s a hand around his throat, and Sasuke is gasping, and he can’t seem to catch any breaths of air. He’s held up, back to the wall, he came here to save Naruto, save him from the abomination and monstrosity of a human being there holding him to the wall, and the chidori didn’t work, and Sasuke has trained and trained, why is he_ never good enough _, and-_

 

_Itachi leans up close to him._

 

_He begins to speak._

 

_Sasuke can feel his older brother’s breath against his ear._

 

_Do you know why you can’t defeat me, Itachi asks._

 

_Sasuke just grunts, kicks around to free himself._

 

_It’s because you don’t have enough hate, Itachi says._

 

_And then Sasuke relives the worst moments of his life, over and over again._

 

_Falls into darkness._

 

_Doesn’t wake up for quite some time._

 

<>

 

_Naruto doesn’t get it. Why is he trying to stop Sasuke?_

 

_Sasuke needs this power._

 

_Naruto could never, once, not ever understand._

 

_Each of Sasuke’s blows is aimed to kill, and he hates that Naruto is holding himself back, trying to leave Sasuke alive, and Sasuke needs the mangekyou sharingan, Naruto needs to die for that._

 

_There’s a final blow, chidori to rasengan, and Sasuke?_

 

_He’s the victor._

 

 _There’s a moment, there, where he_ could _kill Naruto._

 

_Get the eyes._

 

_Foreheads against each other, the rain slicks and wettens their hair, Naruto’s eyes are closed in this almost peaceful way, and Sasuke stands._

 

_And he leaves._

 

_He won’t do this his brother’s way._

 

_He won’t kill Naruto._

 

_ <> _

 

_Sasuke trains for years with Orochimaru._

 

_He hates each day that passes._

 

_At least he’s growing stronger._

 

_ <> _

 

_The best part is seeing the snake lifeless and bloodied and cold like a wet gravestone on the floor._

 

_ <> _

 

_There are three others, now. Sasuke doesn’t particularly care for any of them, on an emotional level. They’re tools, to help him get what he wants, he’s a tool to them, so they can get what they want._

 

_Mutual dehumanization._

 

_ <> _

 

_Itachi tells Sasuke to meet him in the hideout._

 

_ <> _

 

_Sasuke has waited his whole life for this exact moment._

 

_ <> _

 

_Itachi dies._

  


**.,.**

  


_Itachi is being treated for his illness and blindness in the hospital, where he knows the lights are virgin snow white._

 

_He just can’t see them, with the headband across his eyes, fabric itches his face._

 

_ <> _

 

_Itachi can feel his body giving out, during their battle, and he pushes it, pushes himself to the limit he knows will destroy it, but he’s still holding back, quite a bit, actually, to ensure Sasuke doesn’t die through this, even though each of his brother’s strikes, jutsu, are directed towards him with complete intent to kill. Itachi doesn’t dodge as much as he could. He doesn’t blow as powerful of a fireball. He doesn’t come close to using his genjutsu to its full capabilities._

 

_But Sasuke will never know that him winning was Itachi’s choice, not ever._

 

_ <> _

 

_Itachi finds out that Deidara and Sasuke are dead._

 

_Or so he’s told._

 

_His brother isn’t dead, he knows it, as he stands out there and the rain makes his body run with chills._

 

_But one more Uchiha will die, soon._

 

_ <> _

 

_Orochimaru is dead, and Itachi is indifferent to this fact, for the most part._

 

_He finds out Sasuke killed the Sannin._

 

_Itachi is proud of Sasuke’s growth._

 

_Deidara says something about how he’ll kill Sasuke, now._

 

_Itachi knows Deidara is going to die._

 

_ <> _

 

_Working in the Akatsuki can be difficult, it can be tedious and painful, and Itachi’s illness, his blindness, they’re only progressing with each day. He can’t hide the blood anymore, on his lips and sticky on the ground, the way his vision is fading, words are harder to discern, Kisame has shown concern over it, Itachi is grateful for that much._

 

_I deserve this, Itachi says, but not to anyone besides himself, quiet and in his own mind._

 

_ <> _

 

_There’s a hand around Sasuke’s throat, and Itachi’s little brother is gasping, struggling to catch any breaths of air._

 

_Itachi leans up close to him._

 

_He begins to speak._

 

_Do you know why you can’t defeat me, Itachi asks._

 

_Sasuke just grunts, kicks around to free himself._

 

_It’s because you don’t have enough hate, Itachi says._

 

_Itachi uses the nightmare realm jutsu, to fuel Sasuke, the fire of the Uchiha clan hot within each of the members that once lived, he needs Sasuke to hate him, because then all of this, this whole thing, will be easier for the both of them. Sasuke will kill Itachi. Sasuke will take Itachi’s eyes. Sasuke will go back to the Leaf Village, and he will be a hero, he will have redeemed the Uchiha clan, he will start their family anew. He will give them the name they deserve, and he will be happy, which is all Itachi has ever wanted for his little brother ever in his life._

 

_Sasuke needs to hate him._

 

_And it makes Itachi miserable to know that._

 

_He will always love his little brother, either way._

 

_Even when Sasuke kills him._

 

_And then Itachi makes Sasuke relive the worst moments of his life, over and over again._

 

_ <> _

 

_The cloak is black, and there are red clouds on it, lined white around the edges._

 

_The cloak is still a bit too large, too loose for Itachi._

 

_They tell him he’ll grow into it._

 

_ <> _

 

_Itachi is outside the village, just by a few paces, leaning back against a tree._

 

_The blood on his sword shimmers silver highlights with the stars and moon above him._

 

_Itachi has never cried as hard in his life._

 

_ <> _

 

_I’ll be there for you no matter what, Itachi promises Sasuke._

 

_Even if only as an obstacle to overcome._

 

_I’ll always love you, Itachi promises._

 

_ <> _

 

_That’s what older brothers are for._

 

\\..../

  


“What do you mean _absolutely not?!_ ”

 

“Exactly what I said.” Tsunade speaks in an authoritative voice and Naruto cannot stand it, he can’t. “We don’t have the resources for another mission to rescue Sasuke, and _quite honestly_ , the other ones have been so unproductive I don’t see a point! We’d have to plan this out again more carefully before trying anything.”

 

“But Grandma-!”

  
  
“Naruto. Get _out of my office NOW._ ”

 

“Naruto,” it’s Sai, “look, we really should be leavi-”

 

“So you’re just gonna give up? Is that it?” Naruto is leaning up against the desk, _forcing_ his way into Tsunade’s vision, her focus.

 

“It’s not _giving up_ ,” Tsunade bites out, “it’s recognizing that _we have a lot to do to prepare for something like this_ . And _additionally_ , there’s a whole new piece put into play here! We need to figure out how to deal with the situation regarding Itachi, because that’s going to be important too!”

 

She’s leaning up against her edge of the desk now too, their eyes are meeting and it’s some unspoken competition, assertion of control.

 

“This isn’t just about Sasuke! A Hokage should never be a _coward_ ,” Naruto spits out, because he absolutely _cannot believe that Grandma Tsunade is going to give up_ , “ever! Isn’t it your job to protect the people in the village?”

  
  
Tsunade’s eyes widen, at that, and she grits her teeth, fist hits the table _hard_ , snapping it in two, there are some wood splinters lining the floor now. It’s touched some nerve. Naruto isn’t sure which one. He doesn’t exactly care, right now.

 

“He made his choice when he decided to leave for… For Orochimaru! Don’t forget, _Naruto_ , the danger you’re in every time you leave the village!”

 

“ _So?!_ ” Naruto can barely contain himself, he’s yelling, matching her volume, “I promised-”

 

“ _GET. OUT._ ”

 

Naruto suddenly sees a blur of a shape move up next to the edge of the room left of him and Tsunade, and blinks blue eyes, looks over to see Kakashi, _wait when did he get here_. He’s leaning back against the wall as if he was there all along, one leg is crossed loosely over the other.

 

Kakashi turns over to look at Tsunade, nonchalantly, speaks almost boredly. “Sorry for interrupting, but I have to speak to Naruto about something.”

 

The interruption is somehow placating, the tension in the room fades all but barely, Tsunade is still panting a bit but her shoulders loosen and slouch down. Naruto can feel some of the tightness in his stomach dissolving. It’s nice. Tsunade crosses her arms.

 

“I wanted him out of here anyways.”

 

Naruto lets out a pouty huff, but turns and follows Kakashi out of the Hokage’s office; Sai’s trailing behind the two of them, a short distance off, almost as if he’s being cautious, or something.

 

They walk for a long while, silently, out of the building, even, Naruto’s hands are in his pockets and his face is a bit scrunched up, until Kakashi stops the three of them in an alcove, where a tree hangs tiredly above them, stops all but a few golden drizzles of sunlight from interrupting a blanket of cool shade.

 

“Naruto.” Kakashi speaks, finally, sighing a bit, shaking his head. “You need to be more level-headed about this.” Kakashi mumbles to himself, adding on, “though I doubt I’ll ever get it through to you no matter how many times I say it.”

 

“Nobody else seems to care.” He feels a heaviness, then, wash over his body, drag him down and drown him because it feels like everyone else is just giving up. “You said it yourself, sensei. Those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum.”

 

“Hmm…” Kakashi says, leaning back against the tree, looking up and off into seemingly nowhere. He seems so painfully nonchalant about this whole ordeal, it’s driving Naruto a little bit crazy. “I did say that, didn’t I?” There’s a pause, and Naruto is _just_ about to say something when Kakashi speaks again. “But Naruto, do you truly believe Sasuke considers you his comrade anymore?”

 

That’s.

 

A little bit jarring.

 

“Heh.” There’s no amusement in the sound. He meets Kakashi’s eye, dark like spilled ink. “We’re rivals, remember? I’ll beat it into him if I have to!”

  


**.,.**

 

   

Sakura hears knocking at her window, and she groans, because it’s night out, the sky is already bleached with black, and there is only one person who would do this to her, at this time. Luckily, she hadn’t gotten in her nightgown yet, she’d been flipping through the pages of a medical herb encyclopedia. Tsunade had given her and Shizune the task of creating new medications for Itachi, or at least strengthening the current and existing one. She crosses her arms as she walks to the window, sees a brightly grinning six-lined face there, just as she expected, opens the window with a huff.

 

“ _Naruto_! Do you have any idea how late- ?!”

 

Naruto cuts her off with a shushing noise. Uncharacteristic of him, and Sakura tilts her head to the side a bit. She notices, then, that Sai is with him too, and she’s beginning to have a bad feeling, something is off, or this is another of Naruto’s idiotic plans. She does like the two of them, actually, with her blonde teammate being the annoying little brother she never desired or asked for (still, familial level affection), and Sai being… well, Sai. He’s grown more cordial during their time together, at the very least.

 

Anyways.

 

“Shhhh. Shh shh. Sakura-chan, we need your help with something!” Naruto, actually, is very bad at whispering, Sakura notices, as she does every time he whispers.

 

“Oh? And what half-baked scheme have you come up with this time?” She puts her hands on her hips, glaring, because what she was working on was actually important, _thank you very much_.

 

Sai, actually, answers the question, grinning, eyes closed in that falsely painful way of his. “We were going to ask for your assistance breaking the elder of the two Uchiha brothers out of the hospital.”

 

“You were going to _WHAT-_ ”

 

Naruto holds a finger up to his mouth again. “ _Shhhhhh!_ ”

 

“And you haven’t forgotten that he’s an _S-Rank criminal_ , have you? Why would you ever want to set him free?!” Naruto is so insanely stupid Sakura can’t even believe it sometimes, she can’t.

 

“Look, Itachi actually isn’t the bad guy after all! He uh…” Naruto’s hand goes to the back of his head, his voice is softer now, emotional, “...he killed his clan and hurt Sasuke badly. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive him for that. But he was ordered to, and if he didn’t do it Sasuke was going to die. I think maybe if he told Sasuke that, he’d come back to Konoha, and maybe…” Naruto trails off. “Maybe everyone could help Sasuke start to feel better.”

 

Sakura considers this for a minute, is silent as the words buzz in her brain, because it makes sense, _in theory_ , the practicality of it is a different matter. Tsunade went over Itachi’s supposed status of innocent earlier, sure, but Sakura still has her doubts. Naruto interrupts her in the process of thought.

 

“Sai knows where he is!”  


“And?” Sakura rolls her eyes, she does this so often around Naruto she almost wonders if she’ll gain some strength from it, develop her own ocular kekkei genkai. “Look, just ask Tsunade to set up a mission for you. I want to help, Naruto, you _know_ how much I care about Sasuke-kun, but I’m not enough of a moron to break his sociopathic mass murderer of a brother out of the hospital to go find him. You’re still a _genin_ , in case you’ve forgotten. This is out of your league to do alone, or even with Sai.” _Tsunade has been in a pretty bad mood most of today, though. I wonder what’s caused that._

 

“I asked Granny Tsunade already, and she got mad at me and broke her desk. If she’s not going to do anything,” the sudden change in his voice, now lit at the edges with this passion only characteristic of Naruto, it causes Sakura to turn, her eyes widen green and she watches him burn and burn with determination, “then I’m going to have to do it myself. I promised you I’d bring Sasuke back, no matter what. I’m never going back on that.”

 

And Sakura is quiet, for a long moment, one that seems to hold its breath to keep from drowning.

 

_Maybe he can be a real moron and annoying, but Naruto cares. I want to believe in him. I want to believe this is the right thing. ...Something about him makes me feel like it is. But I don’t trust Itachi, not after everything he’s done. I need to come, even if it’s just to make sure Naruto is safe._

 

“Fine, I’m coming with you. Just give me a moment to pack up a few things.” _I doubt you’re prepared._ Sakura walks off, into her room, begins preparing as Naruto awkwardly hovers like some lamp-drawn moth at her window.

 

_I’m getting myself into something really stupid here, aren’t I?_

  


**… . …**

  


“As far as I’m aware, there are two guards situated in the hospital wing Itachi is in, and two more outside his door, as well as one roaming the building’s interior.” Sakura says, speculating, the three of them are hidden down in bushes, talking under breaths and planning, words said and left in the night.

 

“That’s correct.” Sai adds, “though the guard you mentioned to be ‘roaming the interior’ is generally rather lazy. It’s safe to assume they’ve been staying in one place the entire time; the only difficulty is discovering where exactly that is.”

 

Naruto stands with a jolt, like lightning moving from the ground up. “Pfft. I’ll just send in some shadow clones and knock them ou-” Sakura grabs black fabric over Naruto’s arm, pulls him back down among the three of them. “-Hey!”

 

“ _No_ ! We have to remember, we’re dealing with ANBU here, so all of these guards are shinobi around jonin level. Anyways, I thought of a plan on the way here, so listen up.” Sakura looks to both faces, watching her with different levels of eagerness, both silent, waiting. “Sai will send some mice in to find where the different guards are. Once they’ve been located, he’ll send in some snakes to bind their arms and legs. _Then, Naruto_ , you’ll send some shadow clones in, one for each guard. I brought chloroform with me, and soaked some rags in it. It’s an organic compound that also functions as a powerful anaesthetic or sedative when it’s inhaled.” One look at his face and she knows she’s lost him. She sighs. “Look. I’ll give your shadow clones some cloths. Hold them over the mouths of the guards until they pass out. It’ll probably take about five minutes, and tell us when that’s over.”

 

Naruto nods, and Sai’s brush is already alive with ink against scroll.

 

**.,.**

  


Itachi is not in a good situation, he knows.

 

He’s received some treatment, earlier this morning, medications that stave off the blood in his lungs, the pain that constantly persists, and that at least, it’s an improving situation. His eyes are a different story, but unfortunately, not his most pressing concern. He has ANBU watching him, all day, organization still run by Danzo, who, to Itachi’s knowledge, will likely want him dead, especially after sharing the _truth_ with The Fifth Hokage. And Itachi is here, immobilized completely, helpless, with Danzo’s forces surrounding him constantly.

 

It’s a stressful situation to maneuver.

 

He hears the door open slowly, head turns instinctively over towards the sound, sightlessness aside. It’s different, than the guards normally checking on him. He hears the sound of a voice, amusing how the attempt at softening itself is failing so pathetically.

 

“Hey… Sasuke’s brother.”

 

“The ANBU guards wouldn’t have let you in. You don’t have permission to be here.” Itachi says, to the point. “There’s no way to sneak in, which means you’ve incapacitated them somehow. Legally, you’ve just committed treason.” He hears some awkward shuffling and mumbling, because they clearly haven’t really thought that aspect of their… attempt at conversation through. Of course.

 

“We can deal with that later.” It’s Naruto’s voice, determined, bolstered by some unknown passion. “Look, we need your help with something. Sai knows where Sasuke is, and I think that if you can help get him back.” the aggravation in Naruto’s voice is apparent, the pain he feels, frustration in his inability to sway Sasuke’s mind, “Convince him or something. I don’t know how, but he’s your brother! He spent so long chasing after you… even if it was to kill you. Tell him the truth!”

 

“Your plan hinges on the assumption that he would believe me.” _Regardless, there’s an unfortunate possibility he already knows. The fact that he hasn’t returned certainly doesn’t calm any of these suspicions._

 

“But what would you have to gain from lying about it?” The voice of the girl, Sakura.

 

“Many things.” Itachi says, doesn’t elaborate further. Speaks again, after a pause. “So, I suppose you intend to break me out and bring me with you on your search for my little brother.” There isn’t a response, but the answer is obvious. “Why do you trust me? You are aware, of course, that my actions involving my clan were government sanctioned. Regardless, I’ve still fostered Sasuke’s hatred through pain and suffering; I could even argue that, although indirectly, I was the reason he left the village for Orochimaru. You ask me to search for Sasuke when all you’ve seen is the misery I’ve caused him, and you believe I can even convince him to return. And if he does not return, what then? If there’s combat, and you’re forced to choose between his life and your own? I’m not going to feign my intentions: if it comes down to you or Sasuke, I will choose Sasuke, and if I must kill you to do that, then I will. You bring me at the knowing risk of your own death. So why?”

 

Itachi has, in his mind, no doubt that he could very easily kill any of them. There’s a common understanding of that knowledge, he’s sure. The emptiness in the room is as cold and bitter as frozen blood. And in a moment of _brightness_ , Naruto burns that away.

 

“Because that won’t happen.” He’s sure of himself, the challenge is heavy in his tone, “I can’t die until I become Hokage. I’m going to change this village; I’ll make sure nobody _ever_ has to be in a situation like yours again. Nobody is going to suffer like the your clan suffered, and I’m going to make sure Sasuke… I’m going to make sure _you_ get to be here to see it happen! I’ll do whatever it takes.”

 

“Whatever it takes.” Itachi repeats, “Would you really do whatever it takes to make that a reality? It’s a lofty promise. Would you kill your friends for it? Would you die for it?”

 

“I-” Naruto begins to respond, before the girl, Sakura, she cuts him off.

 

“Naruto! We don’t have much time, the guards will wake up at any moment. Itachi… Will you come with us?”

 

Itachi is silent, before he speaks.

 

“I will.”

 

He can feel the bindings on his arms and legs being cut through, the sudden looseness is pleasant, and he stands, his legs are numb and the movement takes some effort but he does it anyways.

 

“If you remove the binding from my eyes and hands, we will escape quicker, and I can even assist you if need be. However, that’s all dependant on how much you’re willing to trust me.”

 

“I don’t.” Sakura says, assuredly, boldly, even. “I wouldn’t be letting you come with us if I could think of a better option.”

 

“We should at least allow him free access of his hands and arms, if not his eyes.” Sai speaks, “I can tell you’re upset about this. You’re displaying all of the symptoms of someone frustrated with another individual. However, we have to think logically about the situation. Emotions are not important right now.”

 

“Trust is entirely about emotions!” Sakura sounds like she’s bristling a bit, an animal being forced into a corner.

 

“What reasons has he given us to distrust him? If anything, he’s been open with us about his intentions.”

 

“Oh, so making Sasuke-kun’s entire life into a lie isn’t enough of a reason to distrust him?”

 

Itachi’s eyes narrow, just the slightest bit, hidden behind the headband. He says nothing to this, though, stone silent.

 

“Hey!” It’s Naruto, now. “Uh, I think I hear someone, so we should _probably get going_!”

 

“I am willing to compromise.” Itachi says. “Freeing my eyes and arms will make the escape from the village vastly easier and safer. Once we are a sizeable distance away, I will willingly allow you to return the cover over my eyes and retie my hands together, should you deem it necessary. I am well aware that a promise means little from me, so rather… Do any of you have paper bombs?”

 

“I do.” Sai.

 

“Very well. Place them across different parts of my body. Should you feel unsafe at any point during the journey, you may make the decision to detonate them. I will not remove them.” Sai is already working on it, Itachi can feel the sticky fabric of the bombs latching all over him now, arms, legs, torso, one on his neck (uncomfortable, the adhesive’s texture).

 

Then, he feels his wrists cut free, Itachi reaches up and pushes his headband from his eyes, back situated on his forehead again, and he looks at the blur of the room around him, down to the left, where he sees a shape there, on the small table next to him. The black rose, probably.

 

It’s beautiful.

 

Well, most likely.

 

It’s not as if he would know.

 

The four of them leave the hospital.

  


**.,.** ****  


 

The journey to the Land of Lightning has proven wearing. Not only are his subordinates prone to constant idiocy, but Kisame has decided to accompany them, probably symbolizing Madara’s distrust. A watchful eye. After a few days of near-nonstop training and isolationism, Madara eventually got onto Sasuke’s case about continuing the mission, telling him to temper his emotions and capture the next jinchuuriki.

 

_You lost a brother too. You should understand how I feel, out of all people._

 

But it isn’t as if Sasuke has been moping around like some lazy melancholic weakling. He’s channeled his feelings into planning, training, because he doesn’t sit around feeling sorry for himself, that’s for children, that’s the path that left him incapable before. Relying on others.

 

The traveling period has been taking substantially longer than he’d planned on, and that’s irking Sasuke, if anything. Karin and Suigetsu are arguing about something likely inconsequential behind him, and Sasuke remains soundless while he’s traveling across the branches of trees, mask of apathy soundly in place. Jugo and Kisame are quiet, at least.

 

Until Kisame isn’t.

 

“You look a lot like your brother, ya know.”

 

Sasuke turns to him for all but a moment, turns away again, narrowing his eyes just slightly. That statement stirs some emotion in him. He isn’t sure how to categorize it, exactly.

 

Kisame snickers. “That was a compliment, no need to act like a little brat about it.” Sasuke says nothing, again. Kisame sighs. “Ugh, are all Uchihas this stoic? Your brother-”

 

“ _Don’t talk about Itachi_.” Sasuke cuts him off, can’t help but glare even further. It’s not that he thinks Kisame would slander him, in any way, but rather, Sasuke doesn’t want to hear it, right now. He spits out his next sentences, like they’re a vile taste in his mouth. “You don’t truly know my older brother. All you saw was the persona he put on for the Akatsuki. Nothing more.”

 

Kisame clearly isn’t dissuaded. “You wouldn’t have been saying that a few weeks ago, though, would you? But here you are, chastising me.”

 

Sasuke hates that.

  


**.,.**

  


They’ve made it to the gates, without being caught, somehow a miraculous feat, considering the circumstances. It’s strange, to see the village again, the lights that leak through windows of homes, the night that leaves the streets near dead, abandoned, the stars the only thing watching down on them now. Itachi is amazed Naruto has ever accomplished sneaking anywhere, before, with the almost toxic hue of his outfit. Sakura’s hair is a bit of a giveaway, as well. Sai is the one among the three most suited for stealth missions, of some sort, it seems (through both skill itself and apparel choice). Itachi turns a bit, another parting look at Konoha, leaving without being apprehended, it’s a bit familiar but that’s an emotion he tries to drown away.

 

“Hmm, and what’s going on here, exactly?” Everyone, simultaneously, turns to the right, where Kakashi slips like some hidden white spider from between the shadows of the sleeping trunks of trees. Moon-doused, his hair shines even brighter with colorlessness.

 

Both Sakura and Naruto lean down a bit, knowing the situation is awkward, but Sai seems oblivious to that. After some shuffling, Naruto becomes resolute, looks up to meet his teacher’s eye.

 

“We’re going to bring back Sasuke.”

 

Kakashi looks over to Itachi, gazes lock, he’s speaking to Naruto, but Itachi knows which of the words are for him.

 

“So, you freed Itachi from the hospital.”

 

“Yes.” Sai speaks. “Though we had to incapacitate some ANBU guards along the way to accomplish this. Since that is treason, coming back successfully is probably our best chance at evading punishment.”

 

“Hmm, hmm. You thought he would be able to help? He’s dangerous.”

 

“I don’t know.” It’s Sakura. “But I think if anyone can at least make more of an impact than we have, it’s Itachi, considering his history with Sasuke.”

 

“Plus, to negate our worries, he told us to stick paper bombs over his body that we can set off at will if we believe we are in danger.” Sai adds in, almost jumping to his defense, it’s likely because of their ANBU connection, but it’s appreciated nonetheless.

 

Kakashi sighs, and then shrugs. “Well! I’ll be coming with you. The three of you are my students, after all.”

 

“ _HUHH_?” Naruto is slack-jawed, as if he could not believe it would possibly be that easy. “You’re not going to try to turn us in or anything?”

 

“Naruto.” Kakashi seems exasperated, Itachi gets the feeling that’s an emotion he experiences frequently around his pupils. “You’d leave somehow whether or not I tried to stop you. As your sensei, it’s my responsibility to keep you safe.” Kakashi casts Itachi another look, and he understands the unspoken second half of his reasoning for not turning them in. Itachi would stop him. It’s a battle Kakashi has lost before, and not one that had a particularly pleasant conclusion.

 

Not that Itachi would do that again.

 

Unless he really needed to.

 

They converse for only a moment longer before leaving together, Sai showing the way, the mouse’s trail. Itachi doesn’t have much energy, his chest hurts and his limbs hurt and each breath is like breathing in acid, but.

 

This.

 

Maybe things will finally work out in the end, here. 


	6. Expendable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, first of all, JC, if you're reading this, this chapter is dedicated to you!! i read all your comments and you have no idea how unbelievably happy they made me... it gave me the inspiration i needed to finish this, so yeah, this chapter is for you. (:  
> uhhh well it ended up being 9.4k words so i broke it up into two separate chapters. and i wanted to post them together just because i think it reads better if they're together, since it was technically supposed to be a streamline chapter. anyways enjoy!!

“I still don’t get  _ why  _ you did it.” Naruto’s voice is impudent and huffy. It’s night out, the five of them are huddled close around a campfire and orange and yellow and red tongues of flame lick up into the sky. Ashen clouds float up into dissipation like ghosts. 

 

“Why did you lie? Why didn’t you just tell the truth? Sasuke isn’t stupid! You’re smart too! I’m sure you could have made him understand.” To his credit, Naruto thinks, he hasn’t brought this up earlier, but it might have been because he was a bit distracted preparing the campsite. He’s not going to let it go, though. He’s going to bite into the question fevered and tenacious and refuse to release until Itachi answers. 

 

Itachi is as silent as the pale owl’s eye of moon above them.

 

The highlights of moonlight weave into his hair like strands of silver.

 

Naruto is  _ about  _ to talk but Itachi, actually, does feel the need to say something, now.

 

“Do you think lying is wrong?” Naruto turns his head to the side because he doesn’t exactly understand what that means, at all. Of course lying is wrong! Nobody should lie, especially not like that, because it hurts; it hurts when  _ everything you thought you knew about yourself is falsified, the world isn’t what you think it is and you’re not who you think you are, there’s a reason everyone hates you, you know, demon fox _ -

 

“Obviously!” He doesn’t need to think, the answer is as immediate and natural as breathing.

 

“Then you’re naive.” Itachi says, and Naruto gapes at that, but Itachi turns from where he is on the opposite side of the fire and his eyes meet Naruto’s, black edged golden and crimson from waves of campfire, and there’s something so deep to the expression, something so  _ intimidating _ and silently threatening that Naruto shudders a bit and swallows nervously, gets the feeling he should just let Itachi talk. Which is… always weird, because he’s barely said anything the rest of the day.

 

“Lying is a tool,” Itachi continues, voice regal and deep and deadly, “as such, it can be used for moral or immoral purposes. There is no tool inherently evil; even a kunai knife or shuriken could be used to slice bandages, and a bandage could be used to asphyxiate. However, lying is a tool more volatile than most, one that I’d liken in usage to a weapon. It mainly causes pain, though it can save your life or the lives of those you care for without injuring another in the correct circumstances.”

 

“Children are particularly susceptible to gullibility.” Itachi says, as if this explains anything at all whatsoever. “There’s more to this, Naruto, but I feel it’s best said in a personal conversation between the two of us.”

 

“Naruto!” It’s Sakura, and Naruto turns, eager to hear her voice, to see her. He smiles at her, and she makes a small motion with her hand, a “come here” movement. He gets up, walks over.

 

“Hey! Naruto, could you help me get some more wood for the campfire?”

 

“But we have enou-”

 

“ _ We need more _ .” Naruto doesn’t quite understand the insistence of her voice, but fine, he follows after Sakura. Naruto gets the feeling something is off. He asks the question once they’ve edged into the deeper forest, where Naruto can barely see, save for some mild light shredded by trees.

 

“Is something wrong?”

 

“I don’t trust him.” Sakura glares, and she covers her chest with her arms. “He plotted out that whole thing with Sasuke, Naruto. He’s clearly some sort of mastermind and this is all part of some plan. And  _ you  _ are the one easily falling into it! I thought Itachi was supposed to be the blind one around here!” 

 

“He’s been honest with us so far.” Naruto’s eyebrows furrow. “Well, I think.”  
  
“Were you not just listening?! He was going on and on about how it’s fair to lie.”

 

“I know! I don’t agree with that, okay? But he told us-  _ agh _ , I don’t know anything!” It’s a lot a lot a LOT to process, how has Sakura made up her mind so quickly? “He was trying to help Sasuke! And he did it really, really wrong, but it’s not like he’s totally evil! I want to help Sasuke too! What if we’re the ones doing it wrong?!” 

 

Naruto wants Sakura to have the answers, because  _ she’s the one with the answers  _ and every time he asked for an explanation, even if she would roll her eyes or call him boneheaded or something, she  _ had the answers _ . Naruto’s teammates are both so smart (even if Sai is a freak), and Sasuke is so smart (it’s not like the jerk doesn’t know it), and Itachi is so smart (even though he’s kinda weird and sorta evil). Kakashi is smart. It feels like the Chunin exams again, the test with a blank page, there’s this obvious inadequacy and it’s like they’re all walking through smoke and everyone has a mask on except for him. And Sakura is biting her lip a bit and Naruto begins to wonder how many people have masks on in this situation. Helping Sasuke is precarious business. 

 

And Sakura says the one single thing Naruto was hoping she wouldn’t say.

 

“I don’t know.” 

 

Her shoulders stiffen, she looks straight at Naruto, forcing resolve. “But I know that Itachi wasn’t doing it the right way.”

 

Naruto opens his mouth to let out a question he doesn’t even have all the words ready for yet, because this is a painful topic and a passionate topic and the further it continues the deeper the wounds are carved out, and Sakura holds up her hand for a moment, stopping him.

 

“Naruto, if you had the choice, would you have done it Itachi’s way?”

 

That’s… sobering.

 

Naruto looks at the ground now, as if blankly inspecting it, his form and tone and posture just. Completely drained.

 

“I would rather die.”

  
  


**.,.**

  
  


“It’s been a while.”

 

Itachi looks out of the corner of his eye, and Kakashi is there, not really looking at him, because his vision is trained away onto the fire; Kakashi is looking into him, in a sense, without even looking at him at all. 

 

Itachi watches some inane point in the forest with disproportionate interest. 

 

“Well,” Kakashi continues, “It’s been a while since we’ve had a real conversation.”

 

It’s obvious what this is in reference to. 

 

“I’m surprised your mind remained unbroken after our encounter.”

 

“Hmm… so you’re impressed?” It comes off to Itachi as platonic prodding, as if they’re friends, as if they’re on the same team again. There’s some feeling evoked in him but he can’t accurately identify it.

 

“Not particularly.” He is a little bit. “Though I’m not sure what you’d stand to gain from my approval.”

 

“Nothing.” It’s said nonchalantly. The sound of grass rustle lets Itachi know that Kakashi is leaning back, resting against the earth below them. There’s quiet for a bit, then a sigh. “Look, no matter what you want us to believe, we’re on different teams now. We have the same motive, but beyond that, I think we both feel we’re capable of accomplishing that goal without the other side. We worked together for a while, Itachi. I know this paper bomb safety ensuring strategy has some planned out method of escape. I don’t know how the Hell you’ll do it- genjutsu, probably- but you won’t let us kill you.”

 

“I’ve been upfront about my loyalties, which remain to Sasuke, and then the village. Keeping that in mind, if the level of my abilities are given any thought, the conclusion you reached is an obvious one. It’s the fault of your students for not displaying critical thought.”

 

“Sai will figure it out. Probably Sakura too.” 

 

There’s no need to remark on whether or not Naruto will have the capability to think this through.

 

Itachi is quiet. 

 

Kakashi is quiet.

 

And then he speaks again.

 

“Did you ever miss the village?”

 

_ Itachi just finished his classes at the academy, he’s home now, and he enters his house, stepping between sliding wood panels of doors. He’s removing his shoes, and he hears Sasuke’s voice, calling excitedly for him, running through the house until the distance between them is closed and they’re hugging and Itachi hasn’t had a better moment in his day before this, no second happier than now. _

 

“Sometimes.”

 

Kakashi hums quietly. “Was there anything you missed in particular?”

 

_ They’re all dressed in nicer clothes than normal; mother, she’s wearing a red and white kimono, fine silk dyed the colors of their clan’s symbol, designs maybe a bit like fire embroidered in such perfect and detailed patterns across it. Father, his is just black, but it commands attention, he looks regal and strong and just like the head of the clan should be. Itachi and Sasuke don outfits similar to their father’s, and Sasuke is whining a bit because he doesn’t like the fabric, the way it feels against his skin. Their father tells him to stop complaining, but Itachi just gives Sasuke a small smile, tells him that they’ll play a game together after this and it’ll be alright. That’s clearly placating to Sasuke, and he’s smiling and nodding and even manages a wide grin for the camera, because their parents wanted a nice family photo, to show off maybe, or use in some record, Itachi isn’t sure yet. And they eat lunch together afterwards and Sasuke is over the moon because their father even compliments him once, on improvement in training. Itachi is complimented dozens of times during that single conversation. He tries to ignore that, focus his attention on his little brother. Their family is happy, they’re all smiling, the world is so so bright. And Sasuke and him do play together once they’re home, hide and seek with shadow clones, which is apparently ‘unfair’ but it’s evident they both have a good time. They’re both tired after the game (Itachi, unfortunately, has always had very low stamina, lower chakra reserves, so this is a bit exhausting for him, too) and they take a nap in the grass, right there next to each other. Itachi wants to always be there to protect Sasuke, no matter what. _

 

“Not really.”

  
  


**.,.**

  
  


Sakura left Naruto for a bit to gather sticks on his own. The separation was reasonable; she’s got a lot to think about and he’s got a lot to think about and then she hears Itachi’s voice, clear as day and piercing the night around them. And so she listens, from behind a tree; trying to still her breathing and movements as best she can. Sakura is aware of the unfortunate attention her hair color would draw.

 

“...I know this paper bomb safety ensuring strategy has some planned out method of escape. I don’t know how the Hell you’ll do it- genjutsu, probably- but you won’t let us kill you.”

 

It’s Kakashi, and Sakura’s breath catches in her throat, it’s like a fish with a hook jabbed into the top of its mouth; trapped entirely.

 

“I’ve been upfront about my loyalties, which remain to Sasuke, and then the village. Keeping that in mind, if the level of my abilities are given any thought, the conclusion you reached is an obvious one. It’s the fault of your students for not displaying critical thought.”

 

Sakura’s eyes are wider, and she can feel her heart moving faster and her chest rising and falling faster and she tries to still her world a bit, because everything is moving too fast. Does Kakashi know she’s here? She doubts he has any time that he expects her back at, Sakura’s departure time is likely indefinite, unless Kakashi believes there to be a serious threat. She falls to the ground, settling with as much silence as possible among dead leaves, hands clenching into the bark, the rough edge against her palms is a grounding force. 

 

This… confirms a lot of what she’s been thinking about, for years and years, just this one conversation is validation of it, and everything feels like it’s finally falling to pieces. Kakashi won’t come look for her. Kakashi won’t tell her about Itachi’s manipulations. Do you know who Kakashi  _ will  _ tell, though? Naruto, probably. Itachi has no loyalty to them. Sakura has known this all along, she’s never trusted him, he’s evil, evil in the purest sense of it. What good has he done? Whose life has he bettered, since his genocidal rampage? But of course, this is for Sasuke.

 

Sasuke.

 

It’s always been about him. Itachi, of course, places his little brother’s life’s value above all others in their party combined. Prior to his defection, Sasuke was clearly Kakashi’s favorite. She isn’t exactly sure of Sai’s feelings one way or the other. And Naruto… Whatever it was with those two was explosive and emotional and a bond she could never fathom replicating. She used to abhor that, feel a pulling jealousy so strong she was ashamed of it. And Sakura thinks about every single one of them, if it came down to it, would any of them pick her over Sasuke?

 

Well…

 

Probably not. Sai’s a coin flip, but that indifference hurts equally to a passionate and resounding no. Sasuke was everyone’s favorite. Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke, she can hear it mentally in Naruto’s mocking tone. Kakashi rarely or never trained her, not even when Naruto left the village to train with Jiraiya, when she was all he had left. Naruto left her, to train, to grow strong enough to fulfill his promise to her to bring Sasuke back. Was it ever a promise to her? Sakura thought about it for so long, after he returned and began to hunt Sasuke with feral vigor; she thinks the search being a promise to her is a thinly veiled excuse, rationalization for the obsession. She’s always been alone, outcast at her team’s fringes. Struggling to maintain the pace; she was always smart, talented. And it was hard, when she had no help along the way, not like they did. 

 

Why did she like Sasuke? It was such an arbitrary infatuation. Does she want Sasuke back, even? She lost her best friend over a stupid boy who gave her more stress than happiness, whose angst and cynicism and vengefulness have ruined her, Naruto, ugh, she doesn’t even want to begin listing everyone. And Sasuke is dangerous. Itachi is dangerous. They have no loyalties, not to anyone besides themselves, or one or two select individuals (Itachi’s being Sasuke, notably), though that seems to ebb as well. Naruto was important to Sasuke, and Sasuke tried to kill him. With total indifference in his eyes, those red eyes bespeckled black. He’s not trustworthy. He will never be trustworthy. He has contributed nothing to her, their team, and she can’t see how he’s contributed anything to Naruto, either. Sakura doesn’t want two sociopaths with a rather enormous amount of potential to cause extensive destruction in the village. Naruto, Ino, Hell, even Kakashi and Sai deserve better. 

 

And Sakura has denied this to herself, for years and years and years. 

 

But what’s the point anymore? Nobody else will have the motivation or wisdom to do it. 

 

Sasuke and Itachi are going to die, and Sakura Haruno is going to be the one who kills them.

 

She’s sitting on the forest floor, situated on leaffall, and strategizing. 

 

It’s a plan she has to think through, extensively so, because Itachi is one of the most powerful shinobi she has ever encountered, and him, as well as Naruto and Kakashi, will definitely get in her way if she tries to kill either. It would make the most sense, rationally, to kill Itachi first, wouldn’t it?

 

Except there’s… absolutely no way she can kill Itachi. Sakura would be out of her league with that one. And failing that would leave no ability to get to Sasuke either. Even if Itachi doesn’t kill her, she would definitely be left incapacitated. Sakura fingers a vial at her hip; a small amount of liquid fills it, a serum she tailored herself, and had  _ just finished  _ the night Naruto bothered her about leaving to rescue Sasuke. Viability is clearly ambiguous. It’s an eye-drop that, when administered, temporarily leaves an ocular jutsu unusable. If it works on the sharingan… she hopes so. It’s the one trump card she has against Sasuke, something she’s been keeping secret, in the case she did decide to kill Itachi. But Sasuke… 

 

Sakura will use it against him, and then kill him. In close combat, face to face, without the sharingan, she has the advantage. The probability is high that Itachi will get her back in some way for that, and even if the Jonin in the village are incapable of stopping him from doing so, he violated the already knife’s edge thin hospitality he’s been offered. So Konoha will send their best after him and he’ll be left to combat his terminal illness on his own. He’ll die, Sakura realizes, without their medicine, without her and Tsunade and Shizune. She doesn’t need to kill Itachi, how was she  _ stupid  _ enough to not realize that before? She just has to kill Sasuke. Itachi’s own body will take care of itself.

 

Out of all the people affected by Sasuke’s death (save for Itachi), Naruto will probably be wounded the most. Maybe, one day, Sakura will help him understand it was for the good of the village, for his own good, because they’re friends and she cares about him. Maybe he’ll never forgive her. Maybe he’ll understand one day and thank her. It doesn’t matter, because for once, she’s not trailing behind black and blonde. She’s going to make a change, she’s going to save the village, because nobody else will. 

 

This is… hard to think about. 

 

But it’s better not to focus on it, not to doubt it. 

 

Shinobi kill, all the time, for the good of their village.

 

Sasuke is a missing nin. 

 

There’s no difference between killing him and another criminal.

 

There isn’t there isn’t  there is there isn’t there isn’t there isn’t.

 

There is.

 

There isn’t.

  
  


… . …

  
  


Several days pass as they travel.

 

Sakura’s resolve grows with each one.

  
  


**.,.**

  
  


It’s a flurry of swords and motion, chorus of metal against metal, Sasuke recoils harshly and there’s a stinging on his arm, but he can’t afford to look at it, treat any wound at this time, the Eight Tails whirls with such practiced movements, and Sasuke can barely keep up, his katana alone sings with each deflected strike, Killer Bee is millimeters from slicing his throat, his veins. The situation is precarious and a single missed movement or a failed attack spells death in ornate and painted letters. 

 

Eventually he’s knocked to the ground and he looks up and there’s Suigetsu, parrying what  _ would  _ have been a fatal swing on his Executioner’s Blade. The bulk of it blocks glaring sunlight and Sasuke basks in the sword’s shadow.

 

“Oi, Sasuke, you better be more careful.” Suigetsu is smirking at him and there’s that stupid snaggletooth poking out from under his lip.

 

“Be quiet and pay attention to your opponent.” Sasuke spits it out. He stands up, his pride stings a bit, and he’s not planning on letting Suigetsu take advantage of that. He’s never met a more practiced blademaster in his life than this jinchuriki. 

 

Suigetsu rolls his eyes all melodramatically and sighs. “Even when I save your life you have to be a pissy little brat, huh?”

 

He does as he’s commanded, though.

 

Within seconds, the Executioner’s Blade is knocked flying from Suigetsu’s hands, and Sasuke restrains what would have been a smirk as Suigetsu is placed in the same situation as Sasuke was just moments ago. He can’t cover him in time, Sasuke realizes that as he rushes forwards, but Kisame is on top of it, Samehada growling and rustling beneath wraps of white linen. Kisame looks back at Sasuke, smirk now on his face, and he chuckles as he fights.

 

“Heheh, your brother was far better.”

 

Sasuke’s eyes narrow deadly crimson, and he’s about to take a step forwards when Jugo has a hand on his shoulder, holds him still. Everyone seems to be having an amusing time taunting him when they should remain focused on sticking to their previously planned battle formation. It’s aggravating.

 

“Sasuke… don’t.” Jugo has been kept from the majority of battle; after Sasuke’s curse mark was removed in entirety by Itachi, he’s been near incapable of managing Jugo’s violent outbursts. Kisame can try to restrain him, but fails a good portion of the time; Sasuke can put Jugo under a weak genjutsu with his sharingan, but the effort required to successfully do this is near everything Sasuke can give. So keeping Jugo from the frontlines has proved to be the most productive. He’s trying to placate Sasuke, but Sasuke isn’t interested, he flippantly shoves Jugo’s hand away. 

 

Still, he refrains from advancing, studying the battle, capturing movements with his sharingan. He knows that Karin is nearby too, in case of emergency. Things aren’t going better or worse than expected, as Sasuke simply assesses, they’re all fighting on flat-topped stones swimming amongst a lake so  _ blue _ Sasuke isn’t entirely certain it hasn’t been interfered with in some way. 

 

Suigetsu has his Executioner’s Blade again, and him and Kisame are working together at Killer Bee. Sasuke begins looking for a good opportunity to rejoin, observing the slowed-down motions of the jinchuriki through his eyes, eyes that change the world around him. Trying to find a good opening. 

 

Samehada’s shuffling against its bindings grows louder and more insistent. Kisame is talking to Killer Bee about how his chakra attracts the sword, something something something, it’s pointless information, but there’s a possibility a conversation will impede Killer Bee’s movements; Sasuke isn’t sure if the rambling about Samehada is a strategic ploy, or just Kisame being over excited and talkative about his near demonic blade. Either way suits Sasuke’s purposes fine, the result is the same, in the end. 

 

“I want to join.” It’s Jugo, and Sasuke’s eyes narrow pensively. It’s a bad idea. The volatility of his curse mark form leaves a large possibility for everything to just… go wrong. The rest of Sasuke’s team and Kisame are at as much risk as the jinchuriki. 

 

“No.”

 

Jugo looks almost worried for Sasuke’s safety. Is he? He’s oddly attached, like with Kimimaro; except, Sasuke can’t be Jugo’s cage, or whatever term he’d deemed him, anymore. Aren’t they all just using each other? As far as Sasuke is aware, Taka was banded out of convenience. All loyalties are superficial. They would all leave quickly, thoughtlessly, if a better opportunity presented itself. They all value their individual lives above those of the others; Sasuke does, with himself. Except Jugo, maybe, but that’s a mentality that will end in his death. Sasuke knew someone like that, who lived with his heart out on his sleeve, there to share with everyone, even if it left him bleeding. 

 

The idealism is impractical. 

 

Sasuke is glad he has no bonds anymore. It’s freeing. 

 

And then, there’s the perfect opportunity.

 

Sasuke’s hand flickers blue with singing lightning.

  
  


… . …

  
  


Sasuke vastly underestimated how quickly things could turn bad. First, he misses his strike, Killer Bee jabs through his stomach, arms, rendering him incapable of any sort of fighting. Blood is in his mouth, on his torso, running down his arms between his fingers. Suigetsu tries to block the strike, but ends up caught in the midst of it. Karin runs to them, they each bite on of her arms (her power is repulsive, Sasuke thinks, forcing such close contact for healing, it disgusts him), mending chakra warms Sasuke’s body. Suigetsu is in about the same condition as him; which is to say, terrible. 

 

Kisame is doing the best he can alone. Which is very, very good; he’s a formidable fighter, and Sasuke gets the feeling that if Team Taka wasn’t here, this would be a battle of much greater proportions. From what he’s surmised, Kisame’s stronger attacks are equally destructive to whoever and whatever else is in the area. It’s likely that Madara has given Kisame explicit instructions not to kill Team Taka. Or at least, not to kill Sasuke.

 

And then, Jugo is running in; he’s already fully in his curse mark form, the twisted body of his with the brown carapace, laughter shrieking in echoes through their battlefield. 

 

_ Dammit. _

 

Sasuke doesn’t have enough chakra to pacify him; Kisame struggles to do it without wounding Jugo in an environment free of distractions. Jugo has become more of a hindrance than a help at this point, since getting him involved in battles or in any emotionally charged situation is riskier than it’s worth. He launches himself directly at the jinchuriki.

 

Killer Bee begins changing; orange bubbles around him, a sort of energy, visible chakra encapsulating him. Sasuke knows what this is. He’s seen it before. Killer Bee’s movements become faster, even his sharingan has a hard time tracking them, and Jugo is moving in a frenzy. Kisame is smart enough to stand to the side of this, though he’s a few feet in front of Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Karin.

 

It becomes very clear very quickly that Jugo bit off too much for him to chew. 

 

_ DAMMIT _ .

 

At this point, Sasuke isn’t sure how feasible capturing the jinchuriki is. He’s trying to ignore the  _ stupid rhymes  _ and just,  _ THINK  _ for a damn second. 

 

Killer Bee gains some more tails. He’s at four now. Jugo and him are entangled like fighting cats; Jugo is taking stab wound after stab wound, the pain is clearly galvanized in his curse mark form. It won’t be when he’s out of it, though. If he gets out of it, since this clearly isn’t going well. 

 

“Sasuke!” It’s Karin. Of course now is the moment in which she decides to yell at him; or, is there ever a moment where that doesn’t happen? “ _ Do something!  _ Use your sharingan to calm Jugo down!” She’s as passionate as ever, talking with her whole body. In all honesty, Sasuke doesn’t have nearly the chakra or focus required for a task like that. He’s sure Karin knows it. She’s a sensor, after all.

 

Jugo might be reacting to his name, but he turns, from where Killer Bee has just knocked him to the ground, and now he’s charging towards the small group seeking shelter on the ground. The jinchuriki tails after, and Kisame intercepts him, clearly leaving a bleeding and frenzied Jugo to Sasuke, Karin, and Suigetsu. None of whom are truly prepared to take him on; Suigetsu’s healing hasn’t been as efficient, likely due to the incompatibility in chakra nature between him and Bee, he’d sustained significant injury from that earlier. Karin doesn’t fight, really. Sasuke’s katana is to his side. He grabs the hilt, in some last-ditch effort to stay alive. 

 

He’ll likely have to kill Jugo. 

 

That would be unfortunate. 

 

Jugo goes for Karin, instead. It doesn’t make sense, but he’s not exactly rational right now, so beyond her saying his name, Sasuke can’t think of a basis. And then, he’s given the perfect opportunity; Jugo is holding her up, in such a position that.

 

Their vital organs are.

 

Perfectly.

 

Overlapping each other.

 

“Sasuke!” She’s yelling at him, it would make sense, she can’t overpower Jugo; Sasuke has some chance, he can save her. 

 

Sasuke stands. His face is neutral and his posture is neutral and his voice is  _ apathetic  _ and  _ neutral _ .

 

“Why should I save someone useless enough to be captured by a madman?”

 

Karin’s eyes are wide.

 

The sword slices forwards through air and dives deep into flesh.

 

There’s blood on the ground.

 

“You’re both expendable.”

  
  


**.,.**

  
  


“I’m sorry.” It’s Sai. 

 

Itachi looks up at him, formless blur of a shape that registers in his mind as human, at least. Sai sits next to him on the log, weathered bark damp from some recent rainfall. It just turned to night, and Itachi can hear the frogs and crickets. They sound different, than the ones in the Land of Fire.

 

Itachi just turns towards Sai, seeing that as a silent indication to elaborate. Sai observes him for a moment, and then does so.

 

“When I was serving under Danzo, I was given a classified mission. I am not physically capable of speaking more about it, but I was going to do something that would have made you very sad. Because of this, I feel an apology is in order.”

 

Danzo.

 

Of course.

 

Itachi will have some investigating to do upon his return. He nods in wordless appreciation. Sai accepts it, seemingly.

 

“The mice came back a few minutes ago. We have the exact locations of Sasuke Uchiha, an unidentified boy around his age, and S-Rank wanted nin Kisame Hoshigaki.”

 

Now  _ there’s  _ some interesting information.

 

“However, because these are liable to change, we are sending out a few of Kakashi’s ninken to aid our search. Will you be ready by then?”

 

“I will be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly? fuck the way women are written in canon. sakura deserves to be mad!! when she's not around sasuke she has a whole personality; she's fiery and passionate and has honestly been wronged so, so much. and she's shoved to the side constantly! part of why i like writing multiple character POVs is that motives make more sense, and it's easier to explore something like sakura wanting to kill sasuke without completely demonizing her. she deserves better than what she's gotten. all the female characters do and i am going to give it to them from now on. and sasuke isn't doing well at this point either, i want each side to make sense and be sympathetic to the reader. idk. anyways this goes out to julia, ily!


	7. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is dedicated to cherry, because without her, karin would be dead, and now she's also playing a more important role in the story alongside being alive. my grasp on her character is a bit loose but i tried my best lol.

Her whole body aches.

 

The first thing Karin registers is that she’s still alive.

 

The second thing Karin registers is that Jugo is dead underneath her.

 

She holds her hand across her mouth, to still a scream, and her breathing is shaky and everything  _ hurts  _ as she pulls herself off of him. Her healing capabilities… they managed to save her, definitely. She drags herself, by her arms, across the smooth-skinned shelf of rock, and now she’s at the water’s edge. She washes her face, her wound, grits her teeth through the whole ordeal because it really does  _ hurt _ , being stabbed through with a sword tends to do that.

 

She was a scared little girl, once. She’s locked that part of her in a room deep, deep down, and the child is banging at the door. Demanding freedom, but Karin can’t be a scared little girl. That’s  _ not her _ . 

 

She falls against the rock, on her back, panting a bit more. Trying to figure all this out. She… yes, she feels betrayed, wounded by the indifference of her teammate as he murdered her. Or. Tried to. A small part of Karin whispers that this  _ shouldn’t  _ really have been much of a surprise, because Sasuke’s stability had dropped into a sharp decline since the death of his brother. He’s not the Sasuke he used to be, even his chakra has changed, morphed into something more dangerous and vengeful. It’s a bit off putting to even be in his presence now. They were all just working together because of mutual goals, right? If she was in the same situation, would she stab Sasuke and Jugo to save her own life?

 

Well… probably.

 

But she would definitely feel worse about it than he did. 

 

The apathy of his expression is chilling to think about. 

 

Karin senses a chakra nearby, one that can best be described as… tight; the owner has more control over it than anyone Karin thinks she’s ever encountered before. It’s impressive, the skill taken to exercise that ability. She rolls her head to the side, and a girl maybe her age walks between rock slabs, out into the clearing where she is, where Jugo’s corpse hangs with open arms. She stills at the corpse, turns to Karin. It’s hard to make out her features, Karin’s vision is blurred from the lack of her glasses. Why didn’t she notice that sooner? Hmm, maybe it’s a tad bit difficult to remember things like that after almost dying. 

 

The girl has pink hair, maybe? Karin doesn’t know. But shinobi with chakra this well-managed tend to practice medical jutsu, so Karin might actually be in luck here. If she’s going to be killed, she’s going to be killed; and if she’s going to be captured, she can do her damn best to deal with that when it happens. She’s not exactly capable of much now besides figuring things out as they come.

 

“Hey! You!”

 

The girl turns to look at her. If there’s even a minute possibility Karin can get healing, it’s better sooner rather than later.

 

“My glasses should be over there! Red frames! Gettem for me!”

 

The girl doesn’t move for a second, but then bends over, shuffles around for a moment before picking up… something. Karin’s glasses, it looks like. Not as if there would be any other available pairs of glasses in the area.

 

“Yeah, those!”

 

The girl walks over, cautiously, as should be expected of someone in her position; she’s wiping the glasses on her sleeve, because the lenses are smeared over with red. She hands the glasses to Karin, who takes them eagerly. 

 

Okay, teenage girl, big forehead-

 

_ Hidden Leaf Village headband. _

 

Karin… has a good idea of why she’s here. If she wants information on Sasuke, Karin is eager to provide. That idiot likes revenge so much, he shouldn’t be averse to a taste of his own medicine. Karin knows about exactly where he would be hanging out, too, brooding and soon to be regretting trying to kill Karin,  _ killing Jugo… _ Jugo is a good person. Was. Anyways. Karin is mad; she’s been told time and time over that she has a temper, that she’s prone to flares of melodrama and outbursts. She doesn’t give a damn, she feels things and she’s allowed to feel things, she’s always feeling the emotions of everyone else, all the time, unwillingly being subjected to them as their chakra fluctuates. And every member of Team Taka,  _ especially  _ Sasuke, is a vastly more emotional person than given credit for. Do they have any idea what it’s like to be around all of that all the time? It’s exhausting.

 

“Are you okay?” Interesting that she picked to ask if Karin was alright over her identity. Karin rolls her eyes at the question, snaps back sarcastically.

 

“What do you think?”

 

The girl sighs. “I don’t really have time for attitude. I’m a med nin.” It’s nice being right. And, in this instance, especially so. “Move your arms so I can inspect your wound. An injury on that region of your torso should, technically, be fatal. I’m surprised you’re still alive, honestly.” She pauses, inspecting Karin’s arms, riddled with scars of biting, where teeth met flesh to take her healing for themself. “Your arms…” Karin glares a little and the girl immediately drops the topic. She does, however, leave the gash exposed. The girl leans over it, green bright in her palms, restorative aura. Karin feels a bit better already.

  
“How did you find me?”

 

“The Hidden Leaf sent out a party to capture a missing nin named Sasuke Uchiha. I’m a member of that party.” Her voice takes on a tenseness that Karin couldn’t sense in it before, it’s exaggerated by a slight change in chakra. “I was sent to scout this area and I found you.” Now her tone is a bit more normal again, at least more tranquil. “I wouldn’t feel too good about leaving you here bleeding out. Plus, I have some questions. First…” And now her voice sounds gentle, “who did this to you? It’s definitely a stab wound that should have killed you. It ran right through your body, and probably into the boy over there’s as well.”

 

“Pssh! I’m tougher than I look right now, that’s for sure. Plus, I heal fast.” 

 

“From a lethal cut?” She shakes her head, makes a ‘tsk tsk’ sound. “I have a teammate like that. But it’s different.”

 

Karin doesn’t particularly care about this girl’s teammate, and she wonders how much it would help the situation to humor her.

 

“Oh?” Pretending to be interested.

 

The girl shrugs. “It doesn’t really matter. Anyways, you never answered my question.”

 

Oh, thank god, no smalltalk about these insignificant people Karin never wants to meet or deal with.

 

“Sasuke.” The girl just. Pauses in her movements, flickers a bit in motion, then presumes what she was doing before. “He was trying to kill our teammate Jugo- the guy over there- but I guess I was in the way too.” Karin looks off into the distance for a second, focusing on some unknown and unnamed star.

 

“Where is he?” The girls voice shakes a bit, there’s anger, sadness, this myriad of emotions that’s difficult for even Karin to explore. 

 

“What’re you gonna do to me if I tell you? Because if your team is going to kill me, the answer is ‘I don’t know’.” Revenge would be sweet, but you can’t taste anything if you’re dead. Karin has a bargaining chip now. “Trust me, wherever you think he is, he isn’t there. You need me.”

 

“If I wanted you dead, why would I be healing you? But as I said earlier, I don’t feel good about killing you, especially after  _ he wronged you like this _ . You were teammates, too.” This seems more personal than Karin really wants to get into with a total stranger. She remains quiet. “I used to be teammates with Sasuke. He’s hurt a lot of people, and he’s going to keep hurting people if he isn’t stopped. You were hurt by him… you didn’t deserve that.”

 

Karin, actually… appreciates the sentiment. She can detect lies, and this empathy felt for her is genuine. Maybe this girl is okay after all. She seems smarter than everyone Karin’s been working with for a bit; that’s a breath of fresh air.

 

“I’m sort of obligated to take you back to the village. However, the rest of my team doesn’t know you’re here. I need to maintain some chakra, but you do heal fast, and I’ve healed you enough to the point where you could make it back to a nearby town, thought it would require some effort. If you come back with us, I’ll vouch for you as best I can and try to ensure you’re treated well. I don’t think the Akatsuki is that fond of people who fail their missions… But we can protect you.” Ahh, it’s sympathy. Not pity, necessarily, but understanding, because this girl feels for Karin, she feels for betrayal and abandonment. This is all genuine. But still, Karin isn’t sure how fond she is of the idea of laying her fate in the hands of the Konoha governing system. 

 

“Yeah? And how would the Hokage feel about taking in the Akatsuki? I don’t think she’d really be fond of that.”

 

“Well, we’re already taking back Sasuke. And I’m her student personally. Maybe she’ll have some leniency. Anyways, the choice is up to you. Tell me where Sasuke is. I’ll get back to you when I’m done dealing with him. Stay here if you want to come back with me, and you can leave if you don’t want to. I won’t bring it up if you go.” Again, veracity. She can be trusted. The girl pulls her hands away from Karin’s body, which is feeling considerably less awful than it was a few minutes ago. 

 

“What’s your name?” Karin asks. It seems a bit important to know, at this point.

 

There’s a wisp of a smile on her face. It’s polite, but still friendly. “I’m Sakura Haruno.”

 

Karin nods. It’s a fitting name, given her hair color. “I’m Karin. How good are you at seeing through genjutsu?” 

 

Sakura smiles in a way that’s just almost a smirk but not quite. “Very.”

 

“Perfect. Here’s where you have to go.”

  
  


**.,.**

  
  


Ever since Itachi died, things have gotten…

 

Worse, in every way. Haven’t made sense, because Sasuke expected this to be some grand finale to the odyssey of his life, where him and Itachi both passed out together onto the concrete and fell into a sleep they’ve needed for a long, long time. One they’d never wake up from. The Uchiha Clan’s name would be purified, cleansed by the holy fires of vengeance.

 

Sasuke will have restored his clan.

 

Sasuke feels empty. He feels hatred, too, so much of it, and if he fills that pit inside of him with rancor, then at least it’s filled in general. He doesn’t know who he is, that identity is gone, the one formed around Itachi, and Itachi’s life, and Itachi’s death. 

 

In the short period of time he’s spent here, Sasuke has gone to the same place every night. He veils it in a weak genjutsu, to prevent being encountered by outsiders. It’s a patch in the forest by a creek, and the water whispers to Sasuke to distract him as it passes in its serpentine weaving through the riverbed. He’s sitting on a stone that rises above it, looking anywhere besides at his reflection. 

 

Sasuke tries to gauge whether or not he feels bad about what he did. Has a hard time with it. He decides not to ponder. What’s gone is gone and what’s dead is dead.

 

However.

 

_ Those words earlier… Those weren’t mine. _

 

He spoke them, Sasuke knows.

 

_ Why should I save someone useless enough to be captured by a madman? You’re both expendable. _

 

They don’t sound right. There’s some part of him, maybe it’s as miniscule as a single cell, that knows that isn’t him. Those aren’t his words. He, intrinsically, as a person, isn’t like this. And the emotions that provokes are pungent and they tear at him and his mind. 

 

Even if not all of the people that wronged him died, he’s speaking out their ghosts.

 

_ “I only acted as the brother you wanted me to be. One day, I will use you to test my vessel.” _ Blood on the streets and on the blade, more blood than Sasuke had ever seen in his entire life. It was like red roses were growing on the stone pathways.

 

_ “You have the same eyes as I do… eyes filled with hatred and death, that long for strength…”  _ No, their eyes are different. Those eyes were pale shadows, wanting for sleep, ringed ebon. Sasuke’s eyes are red, red like roses and blood, red and special and the symbol of his clan. No no no. Sasuke’s eyes don’t long for strength. Sasuke’s eyes  _ are  _ strength. 

 

_ “You’re not going to  _ actually _ kill me, Sasuke-kun.”  _ And then Sasuke did. Dead abomination on the floor, living some life between human and reptile, mortal and everlasting.

 

_ “People live their lives bound by what they accept as true and correct. _ ” No.  _ “That’s how they define ‘reality’.”  _ No no  _ no _ .  _ “But what does it mean to be ‘correct’ or ‘true’?”  _ Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut.  _ “Merely vague concepts.”  _ NO NOT THIS.  _ “Their ‘reality’ may all be a mirage.” _

 

“ _ YOU’RE WRONG. _ ” Sasuke yells it into a world where no one listens. “You’re wrong! I didn’t  _ take your eyes _ , I didn’t _ kill my best friend _ ! You’re dead, Itachi. I defeated you. And I followed my own path  _ every step of the way _ .” He’s gritting his teeth, breathing is faster, Jugo’s got Karin in his arms, she’s screaming for help, the sword runs them through, he can feel the pain of an eye ripped from its socket, from his skull by fingers with purple painted over nails, it’s raining and raining and Naruto’s nose is an inch from his and water falls down across the opaline locks of Sasuke’s hair and onto Naruto’s face, and he could kill him right now and here for those eyes but he won’t, he opens the door to their room and there are his parents splayed across the floor and they’re not sleeping because his brother is standing over their soulless corpses and his eyes are like red fires in the shadows. 

 

“This is my reality.” Sasuke reaffirms it to himself. “I’m doing this my way. They forced you to live a torturous existence, you were bound to a code. I’m avenging us, our parents, the clan you were forced to kill. I still walk the trail of revenge, but I’m forging my own path. I’m going to kill every last person living in the Hidden Leaf, and as they watch others die around him, they’ll know the pain of loss and loneliness.”

 

“Will you now?”

 

The voice is familiar, and Sasuke turns. Sakura.

 

He’ll be honest, he’s hurt, badly. His chakra reserves are minimal at the absolute best, he’s not nearly in fighting condition, it would even be a risk to activate his sharingan for show, he’ll reserve it until necessary. Sasuke stands, wishes he didn’t leave his sword at camp, he’s now a few feet from Sakura, a distance covered by grass blades drenched near black by night. So, she’s here…

 

Sasuke looks around her, searching between gaps in tree trunks for his real opponents. It would be a joke to send someone as weak as Sakura alone to face him.

 

“Where are Naruto and Kakashi?” They don’t seem present around here… strange. Whatever. Sasuke watches her, cautiously. “I’m impressed that you saw through my genjutsu, but I’m not interested in listening to more pitiful begging for me to return. Your one-sided love confession didn’t sway me then, and it won’t sway me any other time you try. Now, leave me alone.” 

 

The next sentence surprises him, Sasuke’s eyes widen a bit at it.

 

“You really are an arrogant bastard, aren’t you?”

 

His back hits the earth before he can process and all wind is knocked from Sasuke’s lungs.

  
  


**.,.**

  
  


Sakura has Sasuke pinned down, and he’s weaker than she expected, gashed and bruised and bloodied from some previous fight. He seems temporarily stunned, and she holds his head still, eyes open, pulls the vial from a pouch on her hip and puts a drop into each of his eyes. Sasuke winces, flails and tries to grab at her and push her off. Sakura doesn’t budge, she’s strong like Tsunade, strong in her own way too. Sasuke is glaring up at her.

 

“Well?” He asks, bored, but there’s some annoyance there too.  

 

“You won’t be able to activate your sharingan now.” Sakura spits it out, stupid overpowered eyes that have given him unbelievable advantage. “No tricks, Sasuke. Yeah, Kakashi and Naruto are here too, and it’s a pity you won’t get to see them again.”

 

“I don’t care, I’ve severed each of my bond-”

 

His sentence is sliced sharply as Sakura hits him hard in the jaw, enough chakra to make it really hurt, but not enough to kill or severely injure, not yet. He coughs a few times, tries to move again, his eyes seem to be straining, maybe, and it means her serum was effective. That’s some consolation. But now he’s enraged, hot electric fury in his eyes, dark black storm of emotion.

 

“Maybe  _ you  _ have. But Naruto hasn’t. Kakashi hasn’t. So many people haven’t!” She punches him again.  _ Bam _ . “You’re being so  _ selfish _ , Sasuke!”  _ Bam _ . “You used to mean so much to me!”  _ Bam _ . “And you still mean so much to them! You meant a lot to me even when you discarded me!”  _ Bam _ . “I was annoying! That’s what you always said, you always called me annoying!”  _ Bam _ . “You KNEW it was one of the things I hated most!”  _ Bam. _ “Naruto is one of  _ my  _ closest friends! And do you know how hard he works, every single day, for  _ YOU _ ?!”  _ Bam _ . “You made one of the biggest mistakes of your life, getting rid of a friend like him!”  _ Bam _ . “And another even worse one,  _ by making an enemy out of me _ !”  _ Bam _ . “There was a point in my life where I would consider us friends. But I was the one you got rid of first. I was the one you cared for least.” She didn’t even notice she was crying until she sees the tears falling down onto his face. “Do you know how sad I was when you left?! I always wondered what it was about me that made me inadequate… if it was Naruto there, would you have stopped?! Kakashi?! If there was anything more I could have done!”  _ BAM _ .

 

Sasuke turns his head to the side, spits blood out into the grass, looks back at Sakura. “I was following a goal none of you would be able to understand.” He seems to be thinking hard, for a moment, before he speaks again. “Besides, I thanked you before I left.”

 

“You  _ THANKED ME _ ?”  _ BAM! _ Sasuke’s face is damaged, clearly, blood all over and eye ringed purple, and Sakura can feel his breath leaving him in heaves. “Oh, you mean after you called me annoying?”  _ Bam.  _ “And then when you left me unconscious on a park bench in the middle of the night afterwards?”  _ Bam!  _ He doesn’t have much of a reply to that besides spitting up some more blood. 

 

“What…” He’s clearly having a hard time even getting words out, but he still just sounds bored and mildly annoyed by her. It’s infuriating. “What do you want from me?”

 

She’s madder than she’s ever been before in her entire life. “I want you to say hi to your clan for me. And it might take a few weeks, but your brother will be with you soon.”

 

Now Sasuke’s own vehemence has been nudged at. This is clearly a sore spot. He’s doing his best to yell, to talk, through all of the exhaustion and pain and injury. “ _ Itachi is dead _ .” 

 

“No, he isn’t.  _ You failed _ .” She holds her fist back, and Sasuke does look a bit afraid now, he’s realizing he’s actually going to die. She isn’t sure if she can do this. She doesn’t want to, honestly, all the way deep down. It’s just… civic obligation. Easier to look at it that way. Sakura’s expression softens, and she does look him in the eyes, green to obsidian. “I’m sorry, Sasuke…” She smiles in a sad way, at this twist of fate. 

 

“Thank you.”

 

She means it.

 

Sakura is about to deliver the final blow, when-

 

“Sakura-chan! Wait! Stop!  _ What are you doing?! _ ”

  
  


**.,.**

  
  


Sasuke can’t really believe what just happened. 

 

Sakura’s fist is inches from his face. He doesn’t feel good, and there’s Naruto, who just…

 

Saved him, entirely. He’s grabbing onto Sakura’s fist, restraining her.

 

“Let go of me, Naruto.” Sakura’s voice is shaking a bit.

 

“What are you doing?!” Oh great, now Naruto is getting emotional, waving his free hand around, yelling. But… amongst how pathetic he feels for being in this situation to begin with, Sasuke does experience a small burst of gratitude for Naruto. It’s not special, though. Anyone would feel that, if someone just saved their life. “You could’ve killed him!”

 

“Naruto.” Sakura is clearly trying to restrain her temper. “You wouldn’t understand.”

 

“What does that mean?!”

 

“You’ve fulfilled your promise and brought Sasuke back to me. I need to do this before the others get here. Just look away for a moment. It’ll be okay.” 

 

“ _ No _ !” Naruto is. Crying. “We’re teammates! Those… those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum!”

 

Sasuke is panting in shallow breaths, he meets Naruto’s eyes, and there’s. A lot there, besides the tears. Mainly what appears to be concern for him. Fear. Naruto looks like he wants to move in some way. Say something to him. There are a lot of things Sasuke wants to say, but he doesn’t really. Think he can, at the moment.

 

“Sasuke abandoned us first.” Sakura spits it out, and Sasuke’s eyes fall into a threatening glare, as much of one as he could possibly manage to maintain, at least.

 

“I’m not… Going back.” Breath in, and then one out. “There’s nothing for me in the village.”

 

_ I was supposed to be dead already.  _

 

_ I’ll never fully avenge my clan now.  _

 

_ “I want you to say hi to your clan for me.” _

 

_ … _

 

_ Wherever Itachi went, will I go there too? _

 

_ … _

 

_ I don’t know how I feel about him right now. _

 

_ … _

 

_ But… _

 

_ I think I still hope that we end up together again. _

 

“Kill me, then.” Sasuke looks straight at Sakura, through her. Sasuke continues to speak, through Naruto’s protests. “What’s stopping you? If I was in your position, I would have done it already.”

 

Naruto looks like he’s about to run his mouth again so Sasuke just says, “Don’t say because we’re teammates,  _ Naruto _ . I ended that three years ago. Don’t keep chasing me for a connection that doesn’t exist.”

 

“Not because we’re teammates, Sasuke.  _ Because we’re friends _ .”

 

It isn’t the first time Sasuke has heard that. Why does it annoy him so much? Why is that the flint to his steel, sparks that begin an explosion of emotion? He hates it when Naruto says that. He hates it when Naruto says that. He hates it. 

 

“You’re my best friend, Sasuke!”   
  


Sasuke hates that. He’s trying to muster up the energy to yell back, and then he hears-

 

“And he’s still alive… No wonder you do not possess these eyes, little brother.”

 

No.

 

Sakura finally, finally stands, gets off of him, Naruto pulls her to the side a little bit (but gently, gently) and Sasuke sees-

 

_ No. _

 

Walking slowly, this has to be a spectre or genjutsu, that’s the only thing that makes sense, please let that be it, because it  _ can’t be- _

 

Sasuke tries to push himself up, fails at that, the effort required, so instead pulls himself backwards limply through the grass, looming figure walking closer. His brother, Itachi, it’s Itachi, it’s-

 

“You’re dead.” Sasuke repeats it to himself in breathy words, because this isn’t real, this can’t be real. “You died, Itachi.” The grass slips through Sasuke’s fingers, wet with dew, he can’t do this anymore, he falls down on his back, and there’s Itachi, his older brother, standing so close to him, above him. 

 

Sasuke at least forces himself into a sitting position.

 

“Itachi, I watched you die…”

  
  


**.,.**

  
  


There’s Sasuke, finally. Itachi has wanted to see him so much, so much more than anything in the entire whole wide world. He leans down, on his knees in the grass. And Sasuke is shaking in front of him, it makes sense, he’s been through a lot, recently. Itachi is glad he got here at the time he did, though. Kakashi is staying with Kisame and the boy named Suigetsu, who appears to also be in a relatively awful condition; according to one of the ninken, upon learning Itachi was on the expedition, Kisame would be willing to not kill the rest of their party, and wait until Itachi could return for a single conversation. Itachi’s focus was finding his younger brother, though.

 

And here he is.

 

Itachi pulls an arm around behind Sasuke, pulls him up so that he’s in a sitting position. Sasuke seems a bit too stunned to move, Itachi can feel Sasuke shivering against his arm. He frowns a little, at that. He holds up his two fingers, a familiar gesture, and reaches them forwards, but at the last second-

 

Itachi pulls Sasuke into a tight hug, instead. The pokes were distancing, he used it when he was going somewhere, was too busy for Sasuke; an affirmation that, even through the action itself, put distance between them. But there’s no more distance, that’s how he messed this up to begin with. He wants to fix things now, for them to be close again.

 

Sasuke is still shaking and his heart is beating so fast. 

 

Itachi pulls him in even closer, speaks as softly as he can.

 

“I’m sorry for making you worry, Sasuke.” 

 

And Itachi smiles, just a little bit.

 

“This isn’t the end.”

 

Sasuke breaks down into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...yeah. i really like sasuke so i felt kinda bad about that. but hey! now it's reunion time.


End file.
